How do I get my film's link and banner here?
All screenplays on the simplyscripts.com and simplyscripts.net domain are copyrighted to their respective authors. All rights reserved. This screenplaymay not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.
Users Browsing Forum
No Members and 1 Guests
Numbers: 16 (currently 916 views)
Posted: April 2nd, 2017, 10:09am
So, what are you writing?
Posts Per Day
by Alan Clark - Short, Family, Bible - When challenged for power by a group of angry followers, Moses leaves it up to God to decide who’s who and who’s not who. 9 pages - pdf, format
Writer interested in feedback on this work
Posted: August 9th, 2017, 6:53pm
Posts Per Day
hanging out of every orifice
Technically they would only be hanging out of his ears. Does he have nose rings, eyebrow rings, is that what you mean?
slams his hand against a wooden post. He looks at Korah before his emotions spew forth before the congregation
I don't like this constant use of formatting choice, it really messes with the read "Dathan slams his hand..." achieves the exact same purpose, our focus is still on Dathan.
That was tough to get through. Not for me.
I think the general formatting has room for improvement.
Story wise, this will divide people because of the subject matter. I'm not going to turn this into a religious discussion, but for me the story was still lacking in substance.
All the best.
Reply: 1 - 3
Posted: September 6th, 2017, 6:14am
Been around a while
English, self taught comedy writer
Posts Per Day
How does someone get fat in the desert? Anyway, I'm not sure what to say about this one, really, as I've never been a fan of biblical films. As far as I know this was a perfectly reasonable script, but to me I found it a bit dull. That's not surprising as the subject was so serious. I think making your script more entertaining would be inappropriate, so this is a tough one. As far as I'm concerned I didn't really think anything was wrong with it. If you ever got this filmed, maybe all the action could compensate for the seriousness.
Reply: 2 - 3
Posted: February 26th, 2019, 3:54pm
What a simple, but important question you asked at the beginning of your feedback of this short. It had to be answered in the body of the script. Your question brought forth the important use of birds in the story, as well as the overall tone, right from the beginning. Your question made a huge impact on ‘Numbers: 16’. Thanks! Warren, You’re right! This “Dathan” should be brought down to the action lines with only the first letter in caps. People will be divided with or without this little screenplay. I can only hope to be part that process. God Bless, Alan
Reply: 3 - 3
[ previous Board Index Short Family Scripts | ] next
Switch to: News Questions or Comments Site Redesign The 2019 Writers' Tournament Screenwriting Class The 2018 Writers' Tournament My Work In Progress Simplyscripts Collaborative Effort Script Review Exchange Contests - Screenwriting and Filmmaking Writing Opportunities and Call for Scripts Action/Adventure Scripts Comedy Scripts Drama Scripts Dramedy Scripts Family Scripts Horror Scripts Romantic Comedy Sci Fi and Fantasy Scripts Series Thriller Scripts Western Scripts Short Scripts Short Action / Adventure Scripts Short Comedy Scripts Short Drama Scripts Short Dramedy Scripts Short Horror Short Romantic Comedy Scripts Short Sci Fi and Fantasy Scripts Short Family Scripts Short Thriller Scripts Radio and Stage Plays April, 2019 One Week Challenge Just Ignore This January 2019 - One Week Challenge The Night Gallery 7 Week Challenge October 2018 One Week Challenge July 2018 One Week Challenge May 2018 One Week Challenge January 2018 Two Week Challenge October 2017 One Week Challenge The Quickie Challenge July 2017 OWC April 2017 OWC Scarefest Script Club January 2017 One Week Challenge October 2K16 One Week Challenge August 2016 One Week Challenge April 2016 OWC January 2016 OWC October 2015 One Week Challenge 2015 7 Week Challenge May, 2015 One Week Challenge February 2015 One Week Challenge October 2014 One Week Challenge 2014 One + 6 Week Challenge April 2014 One Week Challange January 2014 - One Week Challenge October 2013 One Week Challenge July 2013 One Week Challenge March, 2013 1+6WC End of the World One Week Challenge October 2012 One Week Challenge February 2012 OWC December, 2011 Urban Legend OWC October, 2011 One Week Challange September 2011 One Week Challenge June 2011 One Week Challenge February 2011 One Week Challenge October, 2010 One Week Challenge May 2010 One Week Challenge February, 2010 One Week Challenge October, 2009 One Week Challenge August 2009 One Week Challenge April, 2009 One Week Challenge January, 2009 Two Week Challenge October, 2008 One Week Challenge July 08 One Week Challenge February, 2008 One Week Challenge October '07 One Week Challenge Short Sci Fi - January 07 One Week Challenge July/August 2007 One Week Challenge Short Comedy - April '07 One Week Challenge Short Horror - October 06 One Week Challenge Movie, Television and DVD Reviews Script Reviews Music Reviews and Discussion General Chat Movie/Television Rumor Books Poetry Getting to know you, getting to know all about you... Things you are looking for March Madness 2018
You may not post new threads You may not post replies You may not post polls You may not post attachments
HTML is on Blah Code is on Smilies are on