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Not a bad little short story. There is some potential here.
Couple of issues...
In the first line after the initial slug, no need to mention the room. That was accomplished with the slug. Just say... A small lamp illuminates the space.
Some of the dialog is pretty stiff. Maybe English isn't your first language?
I've got no problem with camera directions in a screenplay, but I do think you use them wrong here. First, don't mention the camera at all. Keep it simple. For the big reveal at the end, do something like this...
ANGLE ON the back of the Man's head to reveal a fork stabbed into his neck.
This would be pretty easy to film. Clean this up a bit and I could see this getting picked up quickly.
I obviously can't speak for Zack - But here's my take on the dialogue.
Generally, when someone says your dialogue is stiff, it's because it comes across as a bit robotic - I.E doesn't sound natural. This could be because it is expositional - I.E you are giving the viewer important exposition through dialogue which (apart from being lazy) creates unnatural dialogue - When talking to someone, how often do you A) say exactly what you mean? and B) reiterate what the other person already knows?
You have a lot of exposition in your dialogue - But this is not your issue since this is actually a monologue of a wife telling her dead husband the things she couldn't when he was alive - Only now after she kills him, does she have the confidence.
The positive with your dialogue is that it is conflict - So well done on that.
The problem with your dialogue, IMHO, is that it lacks emotion - Given the situation, the adrenaline that must be pumping through her body, the fact that she is now spilling out what she had kept bottled up - She talks calmly in complete sentences, with no show of emotion (Doesn't matter the emotion - Sad/Angry/Happy/Relief) - maybe you want her to be an emotionless sociopath, but I don't think it works. From the context of what she is saying, it seems she has been pushed to the brink and snapped, so the emotion and tone of the dialogue should compliment that. Interject the dialogue with action to further highlight the emotion in play.
Let's use an example
LADY Today was our tenth wedding anniversary. I had cooked our favourite dinner for this special day. But you ruined it. Yet again as you always have been doing. You ruined everything.
and inject some emotion...
LADY Ten years...
With a shaky hand, Lady takes a gulp from a half-empty wine glass.
LADY Ten years of marriage and you still didn't remember.
Lady gestures to the two full plates of food On the table in front of them.
LADY Even made your favourite. It's cold now, Ruined. You ruined it, you ruin everything!
Lady hurls the wine glass against the wall, shattering it. She takes a deep breath, then another. Struggles to keep control.
My example is quick - I'm sure you can do better.
Hope my point makes sense though.
P.S nice short you have here - Hard to tell a story in just over a page so well done to you.
1) Since this is a script I can't go all nitty gritty on the details on the background of the main character aka the LADY.
2) As the lady is suffering from her husband's deeds for long time so she has developed a mental condition called Schizoid disorder because of which she is not able express herself clearly. That is the reason I purposely wrote the dialog stiff.
3) As for the camera direction I do think it is somewhat not proper. I will work on it.
4) Also I kept the writing very subtle as to not give away anything.
I think now you can read the script with a new angle and understand the subtlety.
I think you could do this with or without the camera directions due to it being so short. But if you do yes they need fixing.
If she has a disorder it might be a good idea to show us this by having a pill bottle on the table with a closeup on the prescription or have her do something that makes it obvious she clearly has some kind of Schizoid disorder. I think her dialogue alone might not cut it enough for the reader to know what's up. I do get that this is hard, but there are ways to show an audience there is something wrong. It's just figuring out what it is.
A character I wrote about had anxiety problems, so every time he entered a stressful situation I made him scratch at the back of his neck...
But anyways great little short.. hopefully it gets snapped up...
"Turn that off, our friend has just been killed in a fatal sunlight accident!"....