Within This Wall by Rob Herzog - Short, Horror - Arthur struggles to explain the hole that's been mysteriously drilled into his wall and the stranger that stares back at him from inside it. 11 pages - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

Snappy little script with a cool story.  Your protagonist reminded me of the lead in "Nervous Man in a Four Dollar Room" from the Twilight Zone.  I liked your script a lot.  I have to say though, I wasn't surprised.  I knew in my heart what was going to happen when he drilled that hole, and just knew where he was headed when 'it' got hold of him.  I'd really like to see this filmed.  In black and white, of course.

My Word! What are you on man? Can I have some?

Nit picks:

Too many slug lines back and forth - I'd just use Beats instead.

When Arthur talks to himself it's (Aside)

When Arthur continues to speak after an action we need to know it's still him, so a little symbol by his name would suffice, since Cont'd no longer works.

Is she wearing a mini skirt or shirt? You write shirt and a top.

Overall I liked the story, but you need to remember this is a screenplay and it would be an improvement if when Arthur looks through the hole, it's his POV, same when she sees him.

Enjoyable little story tho.

Thanks for sharing with us..