Satan's Chair by John Stone - Short, Horror, Drama - When Peter buys an antique throne he becomes possessed and accuses his Mother of treachery. 6 pages - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

John,

Not sure if ur around but I’ve read this. I like the end callback to the flashback, that was well done. This is all well written, but what I think was missing is some Peter gradually becoming transfixed and possessed by the chair after he buys it. It pretty much jumps from him buying the chair to him exacting revenge on his mother. It’s missing the middle. The build-up. The gradual transformation of Peter into an evil being. Or perhaps, with this new chair, it causes his mother to actually admit her misdeeds and take accountability once and for all.

Anyway, pretty good but is missing key elements that could really make this one stand out.

Steve

Hi Steve. Thanks for your comments. I agree with you. It's just an idea at the moment and one from the back catalogue.

I had the full screenplay on file on my old computer, but deleted the file by accident. So I'm just putting it out there to gauge some feedback. You are absolutely right. In the original version he buys the chair for his mother because he was raped on the chair she sits upon. So it is she that slowly becomes possessed without his knowledge, until that moment of impact where she goes mental. Ha!

Many thanks.

Oh ok. Didn’t realize that was you. You’ve been pretty active on the boards so….

Anyhow, I feel your pain. I lost an old flash drive with a lot of stuff on it. Thankfully, I have most of the necessary items, meaning screenplays.

Still, good work and well written.

This screenplay is now 10 pages in length as opposed to 6 pages in the heading.