Gummy worm by Bernard Antoine Mersier - Short, Horror - On Halloween night, Joel finds out spirits never rest until their revenge is satisfied. 8 pages - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

Some formatting issues here that you might need to look over again.

"Why is that. why do you people feel sorry for these peasants?" This is written as an action line.

Although I get what you are attempting to put across I wasn't convinced by the writing example.

The idea of the cat, drawing and somebody at the door. I think this would probably play out better on screen than as a read.

I'm a great believer that show and tell is the only way to write a screenplay. I get irked when I'm reading prose that should be written as visual.

I cannot see what's going on in a characters head. Maybe it's just me.

I would use CU's and POV's, instead of trying to explain a situation or action.

These are just my thoughts. The narrative I liked tho.

Best