Why the Wi-Fi? by Robert W. Haines - Short, Thriller - Never come between a child and the Wi-fi. 3 pages - pdf format

New writer interested in feedback on this work, please be nice

Hi There,

Enjoyed this. I like what you're going for here - Wifi or Internet access is pretty much the be-all and end-all of children's lives these days and frankly adult's too.

Loving the concept, like the writing too, particularly the n,n,nervous style dialogue.

Whilst it was nice, short and simple, I do think you could have had a little more fun with this - perhaps maybe like the daughter listing all things her father had now shut her down from doing:- Liking her friend's Facebook posts, posting her own 'pout' photos, streaming music videos, trolling etc. Basically, everything girls must do to survive these days.

Anyway, as I said I really like the idea - you might jus wanna go easy on the explanation marks going forward and get rid of that demon child character reference right at the bottom.

Good work!

Thank you so much. Your message made me double-check which copy was uploaded and I quickly realized it was not the finished copy. Thank you so much for your kind words and I will certainly include fewer exclamations in the future. I was unsure of uploading any of my writing on this site, but today has proven it was a worthwhile decision.