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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Thriller Scripts  ›  Dead Rich Moderators: bert
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Don
Posted: July 1st, 2010, 4:51pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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Dead Rich by Gary Rowlands (rolo) - Thriller - A homicide detective investigates the bizarre murder of a millionairess found frozen solid minutes after being seen walking her dog!  102 pages - pdf, format


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RayW
Posted: July 29th, 2010, 2:17pm Report to Moderator
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Howdy, Gary

This is excellent.
I love your dialog.

>> RILEY - We're going to bed.
MARIA - In your dreams.
RILEY - We gotta get some sleep. We're staking out 'The Row' tonight.
Maria cringes with embarrassment.
MARIA - Oh, I thought you meant...
RILEY - In your dreams. <<
Too funny. Nice.

>> STRONG FOX - He's a Shaman... A Holy Man. They say he's a thousand years old.
RILEY - He looks it!
STRONG FOX (to Shaman) - Hi, Grandfather.
Riley cringes. The old man nods at Strong Fox. Resumes his chant. <<
LOL!

I can totally see  Michael Madsen as RILEY.
Melonie Diaz as MARIA. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Be_Kind_Rewind)
55 pages in and it has regular story elements to it, nothing really over-the-top.
Unless a big name attaches I don't see why this can't at least be a cable movie-of-the-week.

MARIA is a little b!tchy. For a homicide rook she's not enough "plays well with others" despite being strong and capable. I'd file down some of her edge to keep the b!tchy Rosie Perez-effect from fouling it up.




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RayW  -  July 30th, 2010, 2:06am
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c m hall
Posted: August 27th, 2010, 3:06pm Report to Moderator
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This held my attention, all the way through -- the ending seemed a little overstuffed with "reasons" -- just my opinion, of course.

Riley and Maria seem to be well thought out characters, many original touches.
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rolo
Posted: August 29th, 2010, 4:50pm Report to Moderator
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Big thanks to RAYW and C M Hall for taking the time to read and offer their opinions on Dead Rich. Your comments are greatly appreciated guys!
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dogglebe
Posted: August 29th, 2010, 10:58pm Report to Moderator
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Your opinions would be appreciated too, Gary.  People are reading three of your scripts, but you haven't commented on anyone's yet.


Phil
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rolo
Posted: August 30th, 2010, 10:44am Report to Moderator
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Fair point Phil! Will try and do some reading over next week or so. Been busy rewriting two features.
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