SimplyScripts Discussion Board
Blog Home - Produced Movie Script Library - TV Scripts - Unproduced Scripts - Contact - Site Map
Welcome, Guest.
It is January 26th, 2022, 7:12am
Please login or register.
Was Portal Recent Posts Home Help Calendar Search Register Login
Please do read the guidelines that govern behavior on the discussion board. It will make for a much more pleasant experience for everyone. A word about SimplyScripts and Censorship

Produced Script Database (Updated!)

The January Project!
If you want access to the January Project, click here

Short Script of the Day | Featured Script of the Month | Featured Short Scripts Available for Production
Submit Your Script

How do I get my film's link and banner here?
All screenplays on the and domain are copyrighted to their respective authors. All rights reserved. This screenplaymay not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.
Forum Login
Username: Create a new Account
Password:     Forgot Password

SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Thriller Scripts  ›  The Last Woman Taken Moderators: bert
Users Browsing Forum
No Members and 1 Guests

 Pages: 1
Recommend Print
  Author    The Last Woman Taken  (currently 1609 views)
Posted: January 11th, 2011, 3:00pm Report to Moderator

So, what are you writing?

Posts Per Day
The Last Woman Taken by Lawrence Clarke (belfast6 - Thriller - A dark story of mystery, suspense and murder played out in the picturesque setting of the Lake District. 154 pages - pdf, format

Visit for what is new on the site.

You will miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
- Wayne Gretzky
Site Private Message
Posted: January 12th, 2011, 11:43am Report to Moderator

Posts Per Day
Lawrence, you've got a few things working against you here, I'm afraid. The first problem is that this is 154 pages. Way too long. But I open up and on your title page you say that this is not the full descriptive screenplay. So how long is that one, 200 pages?

Either way, you NEVER write on your title page that this is not the full screenplay. I don't even know what you mean by that. If you mean that it is not a shooting script, you aren't required to write that anyway. Having that written on your title page gives the impression you don't know what you are doing.

You also need to fix your logline. If you expect anybody to read 154 pages you need to give them a reason to. Who and what is your story about? Your logline couldn't be anymore vague and abstract if you tried. How would you sum up your story in one or two sentences? Who is the main character in your story and what happens that is interesting enough to warrant this being made into a movie? Most thrillers contain mystery, supsense and murder so you aren't making your script stand out with a crap logline like that.

You've got a few other problems going on here, so I'd suggest reading some professional scripts and trying to learn from that. Good luck with it.

Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 1 - 1
 Pages: 1
Recommend Print

Locked Board Board Index    Thriller Scripts  [ previous | next ] Switch to:
Was Portal Recent Posts Home Help Calendar Search Register Login

Forum Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post polls
You may not post attachments
HTML is on
Blah Code is on
Smilies are on

Powered by E-Blah Platinum 9.71B © 2001-2006