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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Thriller Scripts  ›  Portrait of Charlotte Moderators: bert
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Don
Posted: April 28th, 2012, 4:09pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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Portrait Of Charlotte by Mike Guerrini (guido g) - Thriller - Jewel thieves hideout at a vacant country inn during a Nor'Easter but soon realize they aren't alone. 100 pages - pdf, format


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You will miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
- Wayne Gretzky

Revision History (1 edits)
Don  -  May 18th, 2012, 7:04am
revised script
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Dreamscale
Posted: April 28th, 2012, 8:27pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


Yes, that is my real hair...

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I don't want to start trouble again, but as I always say, you can pretty much tell what you're getting yourself into, based on how the logline is written.  And here, within a single sentence, we have mistakes.

Opening the script, we're immediately assaulted by a title page that's full of errors.

2 big strikes.

How does the first page look?  Well, it's not surprising to see many mistakes on display again.

I'll leave it up to someone else to bring some of these mistakes to Mike's attention.  There are alot, sorry to say, and because of that, I'm not going to go any further.

Mike, if you're around, and chime in, I'm sure you'll get lots of help, provided you read and post feedback for other active member's scripts.  That's how it works here -Quid Pro Quo.  Jump in, meet some peeps here and learn all you can.

You've completed a feature length script, and that's something to be proud of.

Best of luck to you going forward.


To ski or not to ski...that's not even a question.
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nunzio
Posted: May 16th, 2012, 9:54am Report to Moderator
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Dreamscale;  Thanks for the note, I'll use all the help out there.  Please tell me what I can do and I will  be around more.  Thanks,  N
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Dreamscale
Posted: May 18th, 2012, 1:31pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


Yes, that is my real hair...

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Hey Mike, I'm in the midst of a big move cross country, so can't get into much.

You just need to start reading scripts here and leave feedback.  Do this with contributing wroters and members.  Stick to active, current threads.  Get to know some peeps here and you'll find many will be happy to return the favor and give you some advice and help.


To ski or not to ski...that's not even a question.
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