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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Thriller Scripts  ›  Locust Field Moderators: bert
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  Author    Locust Field  (currently 1404 views)
Posted: September 17th, 2016, 5:26pm Report to Moderator

So, what are you writing?

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Locust Field by C.C Okoye - Thriller - The normal life of an affluent dentist becomes unhinged when an unnerving encounter with a mysterious woman leads to questions about her early life that upend both her work and marriage. 118 pages - pdf, format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

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You will miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
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Revision History (1 edits)
Don  -  December 2nd, 2017, 10:54am
revised draft
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Posted: February 12th, 2018, 4:53pm Report to Moderator

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Okoye, your script is good, even better, i like the psychologic regressions of the mind through well placed flashback, a technique that i apply also. i wonder if you got the similar idea to Caroline's daughter from the film 'Cape fear' when she has to face her new violin teacher; the one who has reasonable motiffs to payback her long suffering and the lost of her father.
Send me anything else you've written at my e-mail; also you can find me here at the script 'On the road' and 'Curst' Thriller and Mystery/Horror the last one.
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Posted: February 20th, 2018, 9:21pm Report to Moderator

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The first 15 pages were somewhat engaging. You set up very normal believable characters and added the threat of the mysterious DVD and the breathing caller. I was just about to tune out when I got to page 16 and Caroline's voyeurism. That was totally unexpected. I'll keep reading later to find out what's going on.

Are you interested in minor proofreading feedback?
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