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Murderland (currently 720 views)
Posted: December 11th, 2017, 2:54pm
So, what are you writing?
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by Robert Cain - Thriller - A killer theme park and it's murder spree. Who is the man behind it? 84 pages - pdf, format
Writer interested in feedback on this work
Posted: December 12th, 2017, 9:31am
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I'm not sure if you are using screenwriting software or not but Fade In, WriterDuet and Celtx offer some free ones. Your formatting seems off. And I am not sure what font that is but it seems hard on the eyes. My eyes at least. Also, watch your parenthetical use. Examples: -only (O.S.) (O.C.) (V.O.) go next to the names. -(seeing Bruce trying to stand), would be better written as a line of action in my opinion. Sluglines should be written with the primary location first and the secondary second. Example: INT. MOVIE THEATER, MURDERLAND - NIGHT -should be, INT. MURDERLAND, MOVIE THEATER - NIGHT 84 pages is a nice size to get some reads. Just don't give people any reason to not read your script (formatting, font, etc.). Best of luck to you with your current and future projects. All the best, Marty
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Posted: December 14th, 2017, 6:40pm
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Yep, use scriptwriting software. I use Celtx, it's free. Also, your action lines seem very long and as if taken out of a novel.
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Posted: December 14th, 2017, 6:55pm
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Forgot to mention I liked the title - very catchy!
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