I�m no format Nazi. But ... if this were formatted properly, it would be over 200 pages i�m Guessing. And there�s a lot of unnecessary description. The whole shower sequence could be cut and much more.
If the writer is looking for feedback - edit edit edit. You�ll find it tough to get reads if you don�t trim it down. Also - i�d Delete the 2014 draft date. People generally want to be reading a new or recently edited thing.
Good luck with it. As it stands I won�t read beyond 5 pages. |