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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Comedy Scripts  ›  The Delivery Guys Moderators: bert
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Don
Posted: June 25th, 2006, 8:29am Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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"The Delivery Guys by Sally Sutton - Comedy, Romantic Comedy - This romantic comedy is about Jack, a young man who delivers and assembles furniture with his friend Fred.
Jack is saving to go to school and also looking for true love. Jack’s mother, Rita, has put in a newspaper ad for a daughter-in-law. She keeps finding all kinds of strange women for Jack to meet.  Jack hopes to meet a nice girl on his delivery route but most of the customers are strange and some just plain crazy. One of them, Mrs. Graves thinks that Fred is her dead husband. The deceased Mr. Fred Graves used to deliver furniture until he was crushed to death by a couch. She keeps ordering furniture hoping her husband returns. When Fred and Jack show up she clings to Fred. In the elderly lady’s mind her dear, departed Fred has finally come home.
Jack finally meets Sandy, a waitress. She is kind, nice and pretty. Jack works up the courage to ask Sandy out. Their first date is going to church. Sandy lost her parents in a car crash while they were out looking for her. She is seeking redemption.  109 pages - fdr, format "


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bitteroldman
Posted: June 26th, 2006, 1:16pm Report to Moderator
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I haven't been around much, nor do I post too often, but I try and scope out romantic comedies on here when I can.  I'll be honest (kind of a stupid saying i know) but I'm having a hard time getting past the first page.  I'm sure you've been told that formatting is key.  I couldn't help but notice too that you use Final Draft.  If indeed that is the case, how may I ask can your formatting be off?  Your characters' names align directly above where their speaking lines are.  Makes it really hard to begin, let alone maintain a smooth flow with regards to reading.  

I'll get off my soapbox and go back to your scipt.  

Best of luck!
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