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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Short Scripts  ›  Au Jus Moderators: bert
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Don
Posted: October 14th, 2007, 1:51pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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Au Jus by Antonio Gangemi & Aimee Parrott (tony g) - Short, Comedy - A perfectionist cannibal must prepare the meal of a lifetime for the visiting king. 15 pages (Finalist, NYC Midnight Movie Making Madness 2007 Screenwriter’s Challenge). - pdf, format


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James Carlette
Posted: October 15th, 2007, 6:29am Report to Moderator
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I enjoyed this.

The only thing that bugged me was that the cannibals and their victims understood each other - surely they'd be speaking different languages?




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Blakkwolfe
Posted: October 15th, 2007, 11:28am Report to Moderator
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Tony and Aimee;

Great short with lots of colorful characters and twisted, cannibal humor...

Liked Busty the best, too artificial even for the pet anaconda.

The chef scenes are funny, and I don't know how you were able to fight the temptation of "Bam"ming something in Emeril style, but Manny is more Julia Child than Rachel Ray..

Vivid Descriptions of the jungle cannibals, solid characters and excellent dialogue, well deserving of the Finalist Honors.

Joe


Failure is only the opportunity to begin again more intelligently - Dove Chocolate Wrapper
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Hoody
Posted: October 15th, 2007, 7:17pm Report to Moderator
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Great short.  I'd assume it would be pretty difficult to shoot it in NY, but I'd love to see how it turns out on film.

A lot of off-beat humor.  Loved the characters.  The Busty scene was definitely my favorite.

And I liked how they all understood each other.  It's not accurate, but it made the scenes funnier.

This script is definitely one of the better shorts I've had a chance to read.  Keep up the good work.


Please, read Elvis The Goat or Cold Turkey.  Thanks in advance and I'll make sure to review your script in exchange.
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Tony Gangemi
Posted: November 16th, 2007, 6:01pm Report to Moderator
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James: For authenticity's sake, you're probably right.  It would make sense to differentiate the speech of the characters.  I think we were aiming for just left of surreal.

Joe: Thanks.  We did have to fight that temptation, actually -- especially since Manny's been known to fly off the handle (couldn't resist).  But we figured the predominant thing that makes him comical is that he's a perfectionist, so we tried to keep that in mind at all times.  Otherwise, who knows how things could've ended up with Busty.  I'll say no more.

Jesse: Had a few bites thus far on the script; we'll see what happens beyond that.  Casting the role of Manny, I imagine, would be a treat in itself.  Soup Nazi meets Monk.


Drama is character in action. - Linda Cowgill  

Website:

http://www.freewebs.com/aimeeandtony/



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