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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Reviews    Movie, Television and DVD Reviews  ›  Return to House on Haunted Hill Moderators: Nixon
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Death Monkey
Posted: October 27th, 2007, 11:51am Report to Moderator
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I didn't see the first one. I wish I hadn't seen this one.

This movie uses so many clichéd plot-devices and contrivances just to get some hot people  to the house, that you really have to gush at how far monkeys with typewriters have come in this day and age.

The following is written is the same vernacular the dim-witted characters employ.

MINOR SPOILERS (not really)

the plot is pretty straightforward. Hot girl, who is the sister of Sarah Wolfe who made it out in the first movie, finds out her sister has committed suicide because of post-traumatic stress. Or did she? She didn't. She was killed by an evil Dr. Mallucci from ER and some goons because she had a notebook that could help them find some satanic statue which is, like, totally worth a lot!!1

Then Professor Obvious (who looks like a famished Jeremy Clarkson) comes and warns her that there are goons after her, because she has the notebook. He then proceeds to the mansion with his two students, one of which he's banging, and she's like way out of his league but totally respects his mind. Or does she? She doesn't. She's a cold bitch and betrays him for Dr. Malucci.

Then the goons come and hold the hot chick from The O.C. (who btw is the main character) at gun point 'cause she has the notebook. They explain how they killed her sister because she was being a total bitch or something (I don't really remember, I was making 2 minute-noodles during this part). Then he explains that she has to come with them to the mansion because it would be too suspicious if he killed her or something. Didn't really make sense, but I guess they needed to fill out the hot girl quota.

Then when they arrive he tells her she needs to come inside and help them find the statue because maybe her sister told her something they could use inside. Doesn't really make sense either, but okay so she goes inside with them, but she's like totally pissed off at the guy for killing her sister and like "I'm only doing this 'cause you're holding my boyfriend hostage in the car, jerk!". btw. her boyfriend is held hostage in the car to make her go inside.

So inside they meet Professor Obvious and his two students and he's like "omg, Dr. Mallucci, you used to be my student! now you're evil! and the hot student who he's banging betrays him and toally makes out with Dr. mallucci in front of everyone. Whore.

So anyway, Hot girl from the OC is like "Oh no maybe my sister was right! Ghosts are real?" but Dr. Mallucci is like "haha I do't believe in ghosts!" and you can tell he totally wants to bang her 'cause he's staring at her boobs all the time.

So anyway that's the first 20 minutes.

-------------------------

The rest of the movie is just a long series of people being killed off. there's no atmosphere, no timing whatsoever. You would think it'd be easy to make a film scary that's set in the mental institution (see Session 9) but this movie is foiled by silly costumes and stupid characters.

In conclusion: Gore is pretty decent. Acting terrible. Plot stupid. Some nudity but not from Cerina Vincent.





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