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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Short Scripts  ›  The Sasquatch Man Moderators: bert
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  Author    The Sasquatch Man  (currently 1111 views)
Don
Posted: January 20th, 2008, 3:04pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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The Sasquatch Man by Garry Doerksen - Short, Thriller, Horror, Suspense - After his daughters disappearence and his wife's suicide. Ben takes a trip into the mountains to find any evidence of his daughter's whereabouts, and ends up finding something so much bigger. 22 pages - doc, format


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garry23rd
Posted: January 25th, 2008, 9:55pm Report to Moderator
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has anybody read by script yet?
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Shelton
Posted: January 25th, 2008, 9:58pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from garry23rd
has anybody read by script yet?


*Cue Phil*



Shelton's IMDb Profile

"I think I did pretty well, considering I started out with nothing but a bunch of blank paper." - Steve Martin
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James Carlette
Posted: January 26th, 2008, 7:39am Report to Moderator
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Scripts need to be written in the present tense - he walks, she sits, they smile, etc. Blocks of description should really be no more that four lines as well.

Your script feels like someone's simply cut and pasted chunks of a short story into (a rough) script format. You really need to go through and re-write it in the proper style if you want people to read it.




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mcornetto
Posted: January 26th, 2008, 5:55pm Report to Moderator
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Not to mention that it's bad etiquette if you don't wipe your mouth before you take a sip of your drink.

Uh...wrong forum.  I know I have a post for this forum somewhere...

Here it is, um, not to mention that it is bad etiquette if your first post to the forum is asking for someone to read your script.  What you should do is read some other scripts and post your comments.  Then it is likely that people would return the favour.
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elis
Posted: January 27th, 2008, 8:19am Report to Moderator
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I'm back :)

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I noticed you had an editor credit, on your front page.
I'm sorry but they are reallly not helping you with your formatting nor your writing.

I do agree with the rest of the posts, please do a rewrite, I read three pages and was not excited about reading a lot more.

You need to Capitalize your characters upon introduction and you need to write in the present tense.

I am sending you a a script format standard in pdf by email. read it, use it and rewrite, using it.

If you don't have a scriptwriting software, log on to celtx and get one for free.

hope to see a rewrite.


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