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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Drama Scripts  ›  Break The Ice Moderators: bert
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  Author    Break The Ice  (currently 1699 views)
Posted: March 18th, 2008, 7:11pm Report to Moderator

So, what are you writing?

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Break The Ice by Guy Jackson - Drama, Sports - After her third run-in with the law, bad apple Samantha Mueller is sent to an elite speedskating program in lieu of jail time.  While at the program, Sam learns the impeccable value of sports, teammates, and coaches in regards to getting her life back on track and also dealing with adversity in more mature and acceptable ways. 98 pages - pdf, format

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Don  -  June 19th, 2009, 7:37pm
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Posted: July 14th, 2009, 12:42am Report to Moderator

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The USOC is NOT the governing body for speed skating, USS is! And it DOES NOT have boys and girls compete against each other at ANY level!

Jack Shea (I'm sure you've never heard of him) must be spinning in his grave!
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Posted: July 14th, 2009, 9:11am Report to Moderator
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I couldn't get past the logline above.  A repeat offender is giving the option of going to a skating camp, over jail time?  A little too unrealistic for me.

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Posted: July 14th, 2009, 12:53pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from dogglebe
I couldn't get past the logline above.  A repeat offender is giving the option of going to a skating camp, over jail time?  A little too unrealistic for me.

It's actually not all that unrealistic. I think i remember something about Mike Tyson being enroled with Cus D'Amato for boxing training instead of going to Juvie. And Tyson had been arrested over 30 times at that point. While it's not the same, it's definitely in the same ballpark.

Down in the hole / Jesus tries to crack a smile / Beneath another shovel load
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Posted: July 18th, 2009, 10:13am Report to Moderator
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There's a difference in jail time and going to juvie, which should probably be mentioned in the logline.  I read a bit, but couldn't get into it.  not badly written, just kinda cliched and uninteresting.  I think speed skating might be a little esoteric to have any mass appeal.  This type of movie only works with something like hockey or gymnastics.  who wouldnt want to watch a sexy bad girl do gymnastics?  Who would want to see a bad girl skate in a circle?

            (65 Pages) Stealing the case is just the beginning...

            (80 pages) A city where superheroes are murderers and villains walk through walls...
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