A Patient Man by Jason Earle Helgerson - Short - A man waiting for a long lost love finds closure with a young woman looking for her next fix. 13 pages - pdf, format

It's a nice little script. Of course I should recommend some advice that was given to me, that you should add a little more dialog to your script, cos the more white spots on your script the better it looks. And I'm not saying that scripts are all about their looks but it just makes it easier on the reader's eyes.

Other than that I enjoyed the read and thought that you had a good story here.

Good Luck in the future,

Xavier

Thanks. Yeah, I've been told about the flip through by the reader - look at number of pages and a good amount of white. Since it is a short I didn't think that too big of a deal.

With my shorts I tend to limit the dialogue early on to make the viewer focus on the visuals. It is here that I really try to set the overall mood of the script as well as the personality of the main character.

I had thoughts of turning this into a feature at some point, but I'd change the main character to the younger woman (Rachael) since she has the greatest potential from the character arc point of view. This would change the over all mood and allow more dialogue.

Yeah some times in shorts it's hard to find dialog that wont overthrow the script. I sometimes write more actions than dialog when my shorts are about three or four pages, but usually I write much more dialog in my screenplays.