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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Sci Fi and Fantasy Scripts  ›  Ayatollah Moderators: bert
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Don
Posted: May 31st, 2009, 1:56pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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Ayatollah by Paul Jones - Sci Fi - Issac is the son of Abraham. Yakub and Esau the sons of Issac. For centuries, Divine Right has always been passed on to the first born child, from God. To make certain he had chosen the right family, it is said that God tested Abraham's faith by ordering him to sacrifice his only son, Issac. Moments before his death, God had chosen to spare Issac and accept an offering of an animal in his place, allowing for the continuation of this right through Issac's blood. When it came time for Issac to pass on this birthright and bless his eldest son Esau, he had become very old and blind. The two brothers struck a deal which mistakenly left their blind father blessing the younger son, Yakub. It is said that God always loved Yakub even more so then Esau, this is why at Yakub's death, God sent him not into hell for his sins, but into Purgatory to allow for his redemption.  91 pages - pdf, format


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cloroxmartini
Posted: May 31st, 2009, 5:36pm Report to Moderator
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don't understand the logline. really not following the story up to page 38, and the writing gets sloppy making this hard to read. all the camera directions make it difficult as well. something about beings showing up in Yakubs life and he doesn't know what's going on. And Yakub starts hanging out with Melissa. After all that, I'm not compelled to read further.
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