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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Comedy Scripts  ›  Ginormous Moderators: bert
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  Author    Ginormous  (currently 1291 views)
Don
Posted: August 23rd, 2009, 8:33am Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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Ginormous by Jermey Moran - Comedy - A surreal black comedy about the intersection of two lives. Barty Collins is a barely employed, low-rung actor who strives everyday to find paying jobs in artistically satisfying films. Lafe Greenaway is the handsome matinee idol with acting chops who is adored by both the critics and the public. When Barty finally gets a paid acting job in one of Lafe's hot new upcoming films, both men find their lives forever altered.  116 pages - pdf, format


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Trojan
Posted: August 23rd, 2009, 9:00am Report to Moderator
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Ok I just read through the first twelve pages of this and I don't get it. I am confused as to what is happening once the guy gets shot. It is jumping all over the place and I don't know if it is real or imagined or a dream or what. If it is real, why does nobody react when he is shot?

Is this one of those scripts where we start at the end and work backwards? Because you mention in the logline that the protag is barely employed and struggling, yet on the first couple pages we see him on the set of a major film. So his character and circumstances have not been set up if that is the case.

Sorry if all of this is explained later on in the script but it didn't really grab my attention and make me want to read on to find out.

Cheers,
Tim.
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Chongamon
Posted: August 24th, 2009, 8:29am Report to Moderator
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Like Trojan, I read the first ten pages, to see what the script was like. I have to say that it is confusing because you really don't establish much in those two pages. You constantly uses voice overs throughout the entire intro (which I didn't like), but it's confusing because you'll use them to narrate the story and stream of conscience. The story itself seems to boring, as there is no good character qualities that draw the reader in. Another note, your screenplay is automatically copyrighted upon completeion so you should probably add something on the title page or you can register your script with the WGA.  
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