Just two quick notes if you're around. Just to help you out with what is usually expected in spec scripts. It is often said having more that four lines of action/description can be off putting for the reader. The more white we see on the page the better. The descriptions of the characters are well over written - it can be trimmed down and a lot other things.
One more note - camera angles, shots etc... aren't needed in a spec script because you are not the director (I don't think so anyway - hardly like you can film this one). You just have to find ways to describe things - be creative.
I'm unlikely to continue. It's not my kind of Sci fi - just too out there. The dialogue is really heavy aswell with the full English. Interesting story though.