Untitled by Jack (fridayjack1) - Drama - A girl with a mental past gets involved with a drug dealer. 97 pages - pdf, format

Hi,

Why would you not give this a title? Surely after writing 97 pages of it you can think of a title.

I read the first few pages, but here is a sequence from your opening paragraphs....

CLARISSA
Look, I can’t deal with all this.
Just find my damn daughter.
MAN’S VOICE (O.S)
Were (it's not were, it's we're) doing everything we can ma’m
CLARISSA
Well try harder. It shouldn’t be
hard that to find her. (sorry, this doesn't make sense)
MAN’S VOICE (O.S)
Do you know anywhere she could be
staying?
Clarissa takes a deep breath. She’s annoyed. (I think we know she's annoyed already)
CLARISSA
For Christs sake (it would either be Christ's or Chris'sake), I’ve already told
you this. And she wasn’t in any of
those places.
MAN’S VOICE (O.S)
Were doing our best (he pretty much said this before - make him sound wooden)

The fact you haven't given this a title and there's errors all over your first few paragraphs just stops me reading. It may sound pedantic and this might be the best story since The Godfather, but people (amateur reviewers like me and definitely professional readers) are put off by this kind of thing.

Thornton