All screenplays on the simplyscripts.com and simplyscripts.net domain are copyrighted to their respective authors. All rights reserved. This screenplaymay not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.
first the name "The Journey" change it, sounds like a teenage girl movie with Hannah Montana traveling cross country to find her lost guitar.
112 pages, too long. Shoot for 95-100
First page- don't forget FADE IN:
Also in your slug you don't need a dash after INT. just INT. A RANDOM HOUSE... also change that. Ditch the A and give me a little more description of this house. RANDOM is just too vague.
Also page 1..
ditch the ings... "A shower running in the background." NO RUNNING. It runs
INT. - A HOUSE BATHROOM - CONTINUOUS
again, bad slug. Also ditch "Heather enters the bathroom" -- cause we know that, from the slug.
Also the transition from the bathroom to cliffs house needs something cause I just don't get whats happening here. try not to end a scene with dialogue.
I imagine these types of mistakes go on for the entire movie but don't let negative reviews deter you. Keep learning, take classes if you can. read books like "Save the Cat" also "The Screenwriters Bible" is a tremendous resource I use all the time.
Huh. This is posted in the "comedy" section. I thought at some point I would actually, y'know, laugh.
Sorry. This screenplay just wasn't doin' it for me. Interesting premise, just wrongly executed. I was a bit distracted by the unfunny lowbrow jokes, dialogue, and the "text speak" within the first ten pages to actually see the story here. It just doesn't flow for me.
Also, I noticed you "alert the reader" that a time-lapse of two weeks past between the wedding and when the main story picks up. But you don't really alert the viewer.