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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Short Scripts  ›  O Moderators: bert
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Posted: January 7th, 2011, 12:21am Report to Moderator

So, what are you writing?

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O by Jason Parrish - Short, Absurd - Adapted from a theatre piece, the story follows 5 people, 2 pairs and a solo woman, who are dealing with the general issues of life. 23 pages - pdf, format

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Posted: January 7th, 2011, 12:29am Report to Moderator
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Get rid of the scene numbers!

Get rid of all the transitions!

Keep your action blocks down to four lines!

Get rid of Cont'ds and Continueds!

And then I will consider reading it.
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Posted: January 29th, 2011, 7:58am Report to Moderator

Long Island
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I quit at page twelve. Your descriptions are excessive. Sometimes you utilize passive voice. Essentially, you have a script that is just people engaging in epistomology. Their discussion is extremely drawn out and too the average viewer, I believe this would be overly boring. I love philosophy (and have take numerous philosophy classes) so I am not trying to belittle philosophy or a script about it in anyway. This script jsut doesn't work, at least not for me. IT is 23 pages; far too long considering it is people talking to gain some insight on reality. I'd go back and revise.

"Art is literacy of the heart" Elliot Eisner
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