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The Bay by Robert Skotte (sniper) - Horror - In a world ravaged by the walking dead, the safest place for man is among the dangerous men on the planet - Pelican Bay State Prison. 121 pages - pdf, format
It's a decent read, nothing too new on the zombie genre but then it's hard to actually find something new I suppose considering everythings been done before, especially with regards to zombies.
A lot of good action imagery, sometimes the writing needs to be "tightened" a little. Hard to explain if you're interested/use this site I'd be happy to provide an example.
Characters were all good, however it would have been nice to have a bit more of a description other than just 20s or 40s. But for the main characters there was enough so I suppose it works out.
Got to say, I lost interest after DeShawn died, not because he was such an amazing character or anything so to speak - but I like it in a piece when a few of the co-stars make it out too, his death was just predictable that's all he coulda been saved!
"We don't make movies for critics, since they don't pay to see them anyhow."
This is an old script that had been posted before a couple of years and I wasn't really looking for feedback on it but thanks for the read and giving me your 2 cents.
I basically agree with everything you say and were I to write the same script today, which I'm not, it definitely wouldn't look like this.
Cheers Rob
Down in the hole / Jesus tries to crack a smile / Beneath another shovel load