Hey Brian,
I really liked this script. I read it in about an hour. I think the action and the dialog was pretty good. Only a few things:
Pag 4.
One more word out of you Dusty, and I’ll have your ass in county so fast, you’ll be somebody’s love slave by nightfall. Now, sit down and shut up!
You did not explain how the judge knows Dusty.
Pag 5
"He lays down on Jessica’s old bed." Should be "He lies down on Jessica's old bed."
Pag 87 '... is taken aback."
Maybe you use this a bit to often.
Regards Rutger |