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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Thriller Scripts  ›  Carbon Moderators: bert
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Don
Posted: August 7th, 2013, 3:04pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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Carbon by Anthony M. Whitfield (AMW) - Thriller - Everyone has their own opinion on the way the world will end. What happens when everyone is right?... 165 pages - doc, format


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rolo
Posted: August 11th, 2013, 12:40pm Report to Moderator
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Hey Anthony -

A 165 page script is pretty much gonna guarantee you few, if any, reads! Most feature length scripts aim for 110 pages or less.

Sure, some scripts with 130 pages + will sometimes get read by industry folks. But those scripts are nearly always penned by professional writer's with an established reputation. 165 pages suggests that you're a newbie and worse still, don't really have a clue what you're doing!

Your writing is novelistic to say the least and goes some way to explaining the lengthy page count. The dialog is somewhat stilted and often 'on-the-nose.' There were also quite a few typos in the pages I read!

My advice is read some professional scripts. Notice the writing styles. Study how they structure the story. Be mindful of the page count etc.
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StevenClark
Posted: August 11th, 2013, 1:03pm Report to Moderator
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Anthony,

Opened this up out of curiosity to see what Rolo was talking about.

And yes, there are definitely problems. Your script should begin on its own page, not directly under the copyright info. Your opening action descriptions are way too long and tedious. And -- your text is justified! Never justify your text in a script.

Now maybe you're getting to know some new software or something like that, but you need to correct that.

Other than that, like Rolo said, read a few scripts around here and you'll be able to have a clearer idea of formatting and stuff like that. Any help you may need, feel free to reach out. I, and I'm sure many others round here, will be happy to help out.

Best of luck,

Steve


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