Hi, Steve. I'll write a few notes as I go.
Nice, concise action lines. Good flow so far.
The dialogue seems a bit too far to the right? Was there some kind of glitch? Although, I do like the dialogue, it seems natural, so GJ on that.
Cheers! (Toasts.) To friendship. - The parenthesis should be under 'Cheers', and 'to friendship' after the parentheses, if that makes sense.
JANE (OS) Hi love. Are you there?
Gary and Larry remain silent.
Oh, I guess not. I thought you‟d be home. I hope you‟re behaving. Just kidding. I‟ll be back tomorrow night. Everything is fine here. I hope you were able to get together with Gary like you wanted to. I miss and love you. See you tomorrow.
On the paragraph starting 'Oh, I guess not', you'll need to put JANE (CONT'D) to make it clear it's still her talking.
That was a good little script. It had great flow so I didn't get bored reading it. I liked the dialogue between Gary and Larry. They were both fairly well-established characters. There was a good dilemma coming across, and I think the flashbacks really helped to show the audience the relationship between the two.
One thing I will say, Gary and Larry are pretty similar names. I was kinda confused at who was saying what sometimes. Unless, of course, you wanted to name them alike to symbolise their alikeness personality-wise, then kudos for that clever subtly. Overall, a great script. I could easily imagine this being filmed.