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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Radio and Stage Plays  ›  Red Is Also The Royal Blood
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  Author    Red Is Also The Royal Blood  (currently 3488 views)
Don
Posted: June 15th, 2014, 3:41pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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Red Is Also The Royal Blood by Tshiama Nambombe - Play, Radio, Drama - Can an artist, son of a peasant, can marry a princess? 75 pages - docx, format


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Forgive
Posted: June 15th, 2014, 4:36pm Report to Moderator
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Let The Sky Fall

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After all your MA's and degrees in screenwriting I took a look at 'The Challenge' - figured it must be worth a look. To honest, I was suprised at just how bad you wrote - not just play-wrighting, but grammar and punctuation.

I took a look at this hoping it might be better, and TBH, it's very poor. Your intro'ing speech is not only contorted, but way too long - and then you just start in a really weird place - princess & pauper already in love 'n' ready to marry even before the sculpture's finished. Just odd, and off.
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