Holiday Man by Richard Russell - Short, Drama - In the age of the app and the gig, you can find a man to play any role you want. 12 pages - pdf, format

That was pretty cool. I liked the misdirect at the end. Not exactly clear as to why Sam calls himself Hollis at the end. Maybe he found a family?

Richard,

I'm missing something here, I don't know what.

Took me a while to warm to the concept -- it’s not easy to buy into as a service people would pay for.  A few close relatives perhaps, but larger gatherings?  That said, I thought the story flowed well.  You didn’t dwell too deeply on the emotional aspects of Sam’s ‘roles’ and built instead on the question of what Stacey wants with Sam.  

The Halloween sequence was nicely done, with the whole incest angle providing a dark twist.  I’m assuming Mother and Sister had originally killed the real Hollis and were taking the opportunity to play it out again?

Problem is I’m not sure how or if this relates to the ending and I’m left wondering where the pay-off really lies.  Sam wants to be an actor -- he wants ‘real’ roles so I suppose he finds this by assuming the identity of Hollis?  

I’m not sure how far Sam took his role with Stacy?  I’m assuming he cheated on Claire and he intends to again with the Regan?

Where does Claire fit into this?  Was Sam an actor in her life too?

‘Given to fads’ -- be better to show this.

Interesting idea.  Ending left me with a few too many questions to be satisfied.  

Steve

Steven,

Thanks for the notes.  This one was supposed to show the transformation from Sam to Hollis as he accepts his job of being 'Holiday Man'.  He has found his niche, away from Claire and away from acting.  He's Hollis, and he plays dead people.  Thanks again.

Best
Richard

Hi mate, I love the concept but the execution not so much. Not that it's bad, because it isn't. It's written extremely well, I just feel that it lacks the punch a concept like this could have.

How does he manage to look like each person he is going to impersonate? Perhaps one or two scenes showing him preparing would go down well. I'd like to see the use of silicone, various wigs, maybe he watching a home video to get a real feel for the part.

I don't like the Halloween thing. It's really weird. I like it up until just after the part he touches her breast... but I don't feel any of it is necessary. The incest stuff is just weird and detracts from the point of his 'job'. It doesn't pay well, but he's doing good things. I honestly feel that this story would run better if he has the chance of a big real acting job, but turns it down to continue helping people for peanuts.

Anyway, food for thought. It's an excellent concept and likewise told. All the best with it.

This is well written and a very interesting concept. But it started getting confusing around the Halloween part and I couldn't get back into it after that.

Continuing with my trend of suggesting wild, unnecessary re-writes... what if Sam actually had a special power where he's physically transforming into these other people. You might have no interest in making this supernatural, but it's not that unbelievable compared with the idea that he's some sort of master of disguise that can make himself look and act just like another person.

Then maybe Stacey is inviting him to the Halloween thing as some sort of trap to steal his power or kill him, or maybe she has the same power... I'm rambling about something you probably don't wanna write so I'll stop now. Just thought I'd throw it out there.

All,

thanks for the reads and comments.  I'll look to revise this one with your thoughts in mind.  

Best
Richard