Film Score by Louise dos Santos - Drama, Comedy, Fantasy - Imagine having movie music to guide you through life? It happened to insignificant Dave, and changed his course of life forever.  89 pages

treatment - pdf, format

New writer interested in feedback on this work

Finished the entire script and I have to give you props for holding my attention. I usually don't get too far in stories like this but the beginning was very strong. This leads me to my main point.... I completely thought this was headed in a different direction. The comedy was strong in the beginning but sorta ended fairly quickly. I believe once the first time skip happened the movie became a little more generic in terms of what you see in a typical drama (not in a terrible way). I felt the writing was fine and easy to read. I'm not good at checking grammatical errors, ha ha.

-Spoilers-

I thought this was going the CLICK (Adam Sandler Movie) route with the ending because when Whitaker first listened to the CD, he fell asleep. The dynamic between Whitaker and Raechel was more interesting to follow in the beginning. The story gave off a more quirky vibe especially with how spontaneous Rachel was. Her character ended up to be a little too eye-rolling the rest of the way (well I am in the drama section).

-Putting on my director's hat-

If I were to tackle this story, I would keep the comedy going a little further in the story and have their future relationship be more of a flash forward near the end. I feel this would hold the viewers interest because Whitaker's life was more interesting to follow in the begining (favorite character was Stewart). On the other hand, you would lose the impact of Mervin's screentime near the end. Hmm... just thoughts. Maybe you would like to do this yourself?

Try to avoid the typical drama. Look to movies like, for an easy example, ARRIVAL. I feel like there's so much potention for this concept.

Anyway, I did enjoy this despit what I wrote. Just thought it was headed a different direction is all. Good luck with this.