SimplyScripts Discussion Board
Blog Home - Produced Movie Script Library - TV Scripts - Unproduced Scripts - Contact - Site Map
Welcome, Guest.
It is August 20th, 2019, 4:31pm
Please login or register.
Was PortalRecent PostsHome Help Calendar Search Register Login
If you wish to join this discussion board, please send me a message. Please do read the guidelines that govern behavior on the discussion board. It will make for a much more pleasant experience for everyone. A word about SimplyScripts and Censorship

Scripts Studios are posting for award consideration
The Beginners Guide to the SimplyScripts Discussion Board (WIP)

Short Script of the Day | Featured Script of the Month | Featured Short Scripts Available for Production | Submit Your Script

How do I get my film's link and banner here?
All screenplays on the and domain are copyrighted to their respective authors. All rights reserved. This screenplaymay not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.
Forum Login
Username: Create a new Account
Password:     Forgot Password

SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Sci Fi and Fantasy Scripts  ›  5 Seconds Moderators: bert
Users Browsing Forum
No Members and 1 Guests

 Pages: 1
Recommend Print
  Author    5 Seconds  (currently 606 views)
Posted: September 14th, 2017, 6:25pm Report to Moderator

So, what are you writing?

Posts Per Day
5 Seconds by Reagan Trent - Sci Fi, Fantasy - Jonathan and his friends have to stop the man who cut off all oxygen for five seconds. 100 pages - pdf, format

New writer interested in feedback on this work

Visit for what is new on the site.

You will miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
- Wayne Gretzky
Site Private Message
Posted: September 14th, 2017, 7:52pm Report to Moderator
Old Timer

Sydney, Australia
Posts Per Day
Hi Reagan,

The stakes really donít feel that high in your logline, most people can hold their breath for at least a couple of minutes. I obviously havenít read the script, but I would encourage you to come up with a better logline. This doesnít make me want to read the script.

All the best.

To View All My Scripts Please Use The Link Below

My Website

Private Message Reply: 1 - 2
Posted: September 14th, 2017, 8:15pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients

Southern California
Posts Per Day

Quoted Text

It begins with a fade sound in a hallway of a house. The
fade sound turns into music.

While you are in the hallway the angle turns to an open
door which is the bathroom.

You see a shower with a curtain around it. And then the
song you realize is jailhouse rock by Elvis Presley.

You get closer and closer to the curtain and then right
before you get to it you then change to JONATHANíS face
inside the shower. His face is full of fright and the song
gets louder

This is going to need a lot of work.

You need to lose all the you - we.  

Don't start with it begins. We know it is the beginning. It's page 1.  

Put Hallway in your opening slug. Saves the need to do it later

What is a fade sound?

Sorry - but not good enough to read on.

My Scripts can all be seen here:
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 2 - 2
 Pages: 1
Recommend Print

Locked Board Board Index    Sci Fi and Fantasy Scripts  [ previous | next ] Switch to:
Was Portal Recent Posts Home Help Calendar Search Register Login

Forum Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post polls
You may not post attachments
HTML is on
Blah Code is on
Smilies are on

Powered by E-Blah Platinum 9.71B © 2001-2006