SimplyScripts Discussion Board
Blog Home - Produced Movie Script Library - TV Scripts - Unproduced Scripts - Contact - Site Map
Welcome, Guest.
It is March 25th, 2019, 12:13am
Please login or register.
Was Portal Recent Posts Home Help Calendar Search Register Login
If you wish to join this discussion board, please send me a message. Please do read the guidelines that govern behavior on the discussion board. It will make for a much more pleasant experience for everyone. A word about SimplyScripts and Censorship

Scripts Studios are posting for award consideration

The Beginners Guide to the SimplyScripts Discussion Board (WIP)

Yes, I am running script reviews, again...

Short Script of the Day | Featured Script of the Month | Featured Short Scripts Available for Production | Submit Your Script

How do I get my film's link and banner here?
All screenplays on the and domain are copyrighted to their respective authors. All rights reserved. This screenplaymay not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.
Forum Login
Username: Create a new Account
Password:     Forgot Password

SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Sci Fi and Fantasy Scripts  ›  Alien Girl Moderators: bert
Users Browsing Forum
No Members and 1 Guests

 Pages: 1
Recommend Print
  Author    Alien Girl  (currently 631 views)
Posted: October 15th, 2017, 3:48pm Report to Moderator

So, what are you writing?

Posts Per Day
Alien Girl by Oscar Moreno - Sci Fi, Fantasy, Drama - A teenage girl and her best friend escape to a house in the woods to make alien contact as they're chased by their loved ones and the law. 80 pages - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

Visit for what is new on the site.

You will miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
- Wayne Gretzky

Revision History (2 edits; 1 reasons shown)
Don  -  March 6th, 2019, 5:34pm
revised draft
Site Private Message
Posted: November 27th, 2018, 1:05pm Report to Moderator

Posts Per Day
Hey everyone, I rewrote this more or less from scratch. I turned it from a road movie into more of a one-location drama/thriller and emphasized more the romantic and sci-fi aspects. I hope you guys enjoy it. Thanks!
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 1 - 3
Posted: March 7th, 2019, 3:47pm Report to Moderator

Posts Per Day
Bumping this as I made a few tweaks. Thanks!
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 2 - 3
Posted: March 22nd, 2019, 6:13am Report to Moderator

Posts Per Day
*** SPOILERS ****

Hey Oscar,

Read this one and liked. I loved the STEPHANIE's character, how you wrote it.

IMO, you can use MIGUEL's character for more conflicts and thrill. Like he calls the cops or his mom or dad whatever after getting humiliated. This will create more urgency and ticking clock effect.

LUIS is also little under developed. It has great potential. You can build it up that way like it is a major threat than cops in the climax before they see Aliens. And when he is completely changed, it will be good to see the transformation.

FER doesn't add up that much in the story. I mean if he wasn't there, it won't make any difference.

Try to create more tension. Like is STEPHANIE just mentally unstable or really she saw aliens?

And the last thing. Who was DAVID? Just another witness of different incident being interviewed? I think it is confusing to the audience.

These are my personal opinions on what I thought. Hope that helps.
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 3 - 3
 Pages: 1
Recommend Print

Locked Board Board Index    Sci Fi and Fantasy Scripts  [ previous | next ] Switch to:
Was Portal Recent Posts Home Help Calendar Search Register Login

Forum Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post polls
You may not post attachments
HTML is on
Blah Code is on
Smilies are on

Powered by E-Blah Platinum 9.71B © 2001-2006