Skin Deep by Adam Nadworniak - Short, Thriller - A self mutilating serial killer stalks a beautiful young coed through her empty house which leads to an unexpected twilight zone type twist ending.  6 pages - pdf, format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

Adam - pretty sure folks aren't going to read through the watermarks.

Quoted Text We open to a very pretty and quiet neighborhood. The wind silently blows through the trees A car pulls into a driveway, parks, and the head lights turn off. Tina, 19, blonde, gets

You do no intro Tina correctly. Should be in CAPS (TINA)

Adam,

Congratulations of finishing your screenplay.

First off, Dave is right. The watermarks are a killer.

I'd suggest you try the free version of either; Celtx, FadeIn or WriterDuet.

Transitions:
I'd suggest getting rid of every CUT TO unless it is necessary to the story.

CONT'D:
It was recently suggested to me to remove the automatic option to include CONT'D. I agree. It's easier on the eyes and makes for a better read. However, that is completely up to you.

Dialogue:
The spacing should be removed. That could have just been an option on the software that was set incorrectly, however, eliminate the spacing.

Action:
You have some large blocks of action going on. Break them up and try to keep them to three, four, or five lines at the most.

Again, those are just my opinions and suggestions.

Best of luck with your current and future projects.

All the best,
Marty