Answered Prayers by Thimmy Bagfelt - Short, Drama - Sarah thinks her prayers are answered by God, but the devil deceives her, with disastrous consequences. 4 pages

production: Only one actor or actress required. - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

Quoted from Don Answered Prayers by Thimmy Bagfelt - Short, Drama - Sarah thinks her prayers are answered by God, but the devil deceives her, with disastrous consequences. 4 pages production: Only one actor or actress required. - pdf format Writer interested in feedback on this work

Hi Thimmy,

thanks for posting the script. It's an interesting little thing, but I would have liked more from the character. I don't understand her motivation clearly, and it made it difficult to suspend my belief that Sarah would willingly kill herself.

Does Sarah have a mental illness? Is she suicidal? The audience will want to know this in advance. I also wouldn't use "Dark Voice" to refer to the "Devil", if your intention is to conceal this knowledge until the end. I knew how it was going to end from the start, which defeats the purpose of a hidden reveal.

EricP.

Thank you for taking the time to give that useful feedback Eric!

I don't want to delve too much on the causes of her misery, because I don't think it's all that relevant to the story. Perhaps I can have her cry while praying and/or eat anti-depressants. Or maybe even add a scene prior to the church scene where Sarah is on the verge of suicide but then decides to go to church instead.

Instead of "Dark Voice", maybe "Deep Voice", "Male Voice", "Deep Voice" or even "The Voice of God". I assume it would be inappropriate to straight up say it's "God", because that turns out not to be the case.

Also, the log line is a pretty obvious spoiler which I wouldn't reveal to viewers in advance.