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Excursion by Aidan Cross - Thriller, Drama - This surreal psychological thriller follows the life of a London businessman whose monotonous lifestyle is disrupted by increasingly strange events until he finds himself forcibly extracted from his regular surroundings and manipulated by terrifying forces beyond his control. 155 pages - pdf format
Iï¿½m no format Nazi. But ... if this were formatted properly, it would be over 200 pages iï¿½m Guessing. And thereï¿½s a lot of unnecessary description. The whole shower sequence could be cut and much more.
If the writer is looking for feedback - edit edit edit. Youï¿½ll find it tough to get reads if you donï¿½t trim it down. Also - iï¿½d Delete the 2014 draft date. People generally want to be reading a new or recently edited thing.
Good luck with it. As it stands I wonï¿½t read beyond 5 pages.