Bottom by Logan McDonald - Short, Comedy - A straight adult star has some second thoughts after he agrees to act in a gay porn.  14 pages - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

Hey Logan - gave this a quick read, bit of an odd one really, a little dustbin buttcock-esq in its attempt to shock for the sake of it, i felt. There's some issues here and there but I got the feeling you were dictating the story more than getting involved in it, like you're telling us this instead of sharing the experience. I didn't get a real feel of a separate voice from the characters, so that made me feel again that this was just your take on it, not that you were involving me in it. Big chunks of dialogue too, didn't help.

Thank you for the feedback!
It gives me a lot to think about since i wanted the script to be a more sympathetic look at something semi controversial that we don't hear about very often than shocking.

Hmm, not really sure how to attack this one.  I'm really not into "Gay Porn", nor do I care to read about it.  My take on this script is that Laura is more into this than Johnny.  Laura shows that she wants to ease Johnny's nerves about the video shoot, but Johnny takes offense to her actions.

When Johnny gives into Laura, and he asks her if she's done "this" before, she answers that she did this with a boyfriend in the past.  Which indicates Laura is truly into "gay porn" and banging a guy with a dildo.  Ok.  Some people are into that.  So be it.

This is your typical "porno script".  Somewhat descriptive, but it hits the target, per say.  The ending is where I realized that Laura is a freak for this.  She is there watching Johnny's scene being filmed.  Either she is very supportive, or she is just a complete sex freak.  Ok.

It would have been interesting that after the two guys completed their scene, Johnny brings Laura in and they have a three-way with her.  That would have been kinky!!  Just a thought.  Not a bad script, just not into the "two guy" thing.

Later!!