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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Radio and Stage Plays  ›  But You're White
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Don
Posted: December 16th, 2018, 5:14pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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But You're White by David T. Anderson - Play, Drama, Short - A white male job candidate marks African-American on the self-identification section on his job application, the Interviewer is confused by this and confronts the applicant.  - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work



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Matthew Taylor
Posted: December 17th, 2018, 6:33am Report to Moderator
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Hello

I liked the premise, I was enjoying the read but then the story kinda didn't go anywhere and there was no ending, it just sort of stopped. Very unsatisfying finish.

I was getting a strong sense of satire with the whole diversity quota/self identification thing but I don't think it went far enough.

Anyway, good luck with it.

Matt


Feature

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Two steps to writing a good screenplay:
1) Write a bad one
2) Fix it
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JEStaats
Posted: July 15th, 2020, 4:49pm Report to Moderator
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No sh*t, there I was....

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Hi,

I was looking for something a little different and randomly chose to read your stage play. Firstly, I liked your quick and simple style - Nicely done.

It's very current but it lacks closure. I was thinking (and perhaps hoping) that the applicant was first generation South African that would make him absolutely qualified.

Thanks for posting!
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Heretic
Posted: July 15th, 2020, 6:34pm Report to Moderator
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Oh man. You've got a great title here. And not just because it makes me wanna throw on Lethal Weapon 2.

As the comments say above, this doesn't really go anywhere. It also doesn't particularly make sense off the top, as the interviewer wouldn't bother to confront the applicant in the first place -- just ignore the guy and move on to the next interview. Probably need to build in some stakes for the interviewer.

But I mostly just came here to say, great title.
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