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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Short Horror  ›  The Silence Of Running Water
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  Author    The Silence Of Running Water  (currently 1219 views)
Don
Posted: March 6th, 2019, 8:47pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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The Silence Of Running Water by Curt Dennis - Short, Horror - A woman unknowingly plays a murderous, haunted record that steals sounds. 5 pages - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work



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Zombie Sean
Posted: March 6th, 2019, 8:57pm Report to Moderator
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Hey Curt,

This would be a fun project for an audio person. I'd like to hear how the noises would sound like as they play from the record player. For a short horror, it was fun and entertaining.

However, how did Lina get the record? She just had a party, but we don't know what kind, so I'm thinking it was just a house/dinner party. It would make more sense if it were, say, a birthday party for her and she got the record as a gift. Maybe she likes collecting records and so a friend gave one to her for her birthday. Just something to make more sense than for her to stumble upon this record she's never seen before in her own collection.

Otherwise, I enjoyed this, and I like your writing style.
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Curt
Posted: March 7th, 2019, 3:50am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Zombie Sean
Hey Curt,

This would be a fun project for an audio person. I'd like to hear how the noises would sound like as they play from the record player. For a short horror, it was fun and entertaining.

However, how did Lina get the record? She just had a party, but we don't know what kind, so I'm thinking it was just a house/dinner party. It would make more sense if it were, say, a birthday party for her and she got the record as a gift. Maybe she likes collecting records and so a friend gave one to her for her birthday. Just something to make more sense than for her to stumble upon this record she's never seen before in her own collection.

Otherwise, I enjoyed this, and I like your writing style.

Thanks mate! Yeah we definitely sort of brushed past her backstory with this (even though myself and Max, my co-writer, talked about it a lot).

Fortunately, I think it would out as we're in post-production on this (and we're gonna continue with it so the feedback isn't going unwarranted- it's going into the next one!)
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Busy Little Bee
Posted: August 7th, 2019, 12:37pm Report to Moderator
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Hey, Curt

That logline is “pfg,” pretty fuckin’ good.

Nice writing, the structure too. The call backs for the dog toy and cell phone were effective.

The implications of what’s taking place is great, and it lends itself to a lot of possibilities which is why I think this is a eature length idea. I know it’s similar to “Dead Silence,” but to be honest I think this is better “hook” because having it being a record, a medium for sound, adds a certain level of irony that Dead Silence doesn’t have.

Agreed. This is perfect for a short that should ultimately be turned in for a featuret. I love this idea. I hope the production is going well. Let me know when it drops.

BLB


Commodus: But the Emperor Claudius knew that they were up to something. He knew they were busy little bees. And one night he sat down with one of them and he looked at her and he said, "Tell me what you have been doing, busy little bee..."
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Curt
Posted: August 7th, 2019, 1:11pm Report to Moderator
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Thanks for the kind words Busy Little Bee!

We did actually finish it and we're currently hearing back from festivals (one yes, one no so far, waiting for their official announcement though)! I'd be happy to share, for the time being, the short film privately if anyone is interested

Also, as for Zombie Sean, I think we were able to make your question about "how" she got the record work in the film. I think. We lost some stuff in the short (like the dog barks), but since it was just one night and zero budget I'm pretty happy with how it turned out.
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