SimplyScripts Discussion Board
Blog Home - Produced Movie Script Library - TV Scripts - Unproduced Scripts - Contact - Site Map
ScriptSearch
Welcome, Guest.
It is July 17th, 2019, 6:35pm
Please login or register.
Was Portal Recent Posts Home Help Calendar Search Register Login
If you wish to join this discussion board, please send me a message. Please do read the guidelines that govern behavior on the discussion board. It will make for a much more pleasant experience for everyone. A word about SimplyScripts and Censorship


Scripts Studios are posting for award consideration
Final Standings

Round Five (5) Standings Posted




Short Script of the Day | Featured Script of the Month | Featured Short Scripts Available for Production | Submit Your Script

How do I get my film's link and banner here?
All screenplays on the simplyscripts.com and simplyscripts.net domain are copyrighted to their respective authors. All rights reserved. This screenplaymay not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.
Forum Login
Username: Create a new Account
Password:     Forgot Password

SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Short Drama Scripts  ›  Mealworms
Users Browsing Forum
No Members and 1 Guests

 Pages: 1
Recommend Print
  Author    Mealworms  (currently 107 views)
Don
Posted: March 21st, 2019, 4:35pm Report to Moderator
Administrator
Administrator


So, what are you writing?

Location
Virginia
Posts
13134
Posts Per Day
1.95
Mealworms by Rob Herzog - Short, Drama - A mother scrambles for solutions after she accidentally eats the mealworms from her daughter's science project. 11 pages - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work



Visit SimplyScripts.com for what is new on the site.


-------------
You will miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
- Wayne Gretzky
Logged
Site Private Message
Matthew Taylor
Posted: March 22nd, 2019, 8:07am Report to Moderator
Regular



Location
Shakespeare's county
Posts
738
Posts Per Day
2.69
Hey Rob

I really enjoyed this - For some reason, I didn't think I would.

The characters were real, relatable, and interesting. The story itself kept my attention and I was rooting for the mom.

The opening scene is a tad long I feel, could be tightened.

You haven't listed it as a comedy, but I think it has light-hearted comedy elements - a dramady I guess.

I think the emotion could have been ramped up at the end - This is a struggling mom, she has fucked up and blames herself, most parents have been there so that's very relatable. She gets reassurance from these strangers that she is a great mom - so far so good. I guess I wanted to see a subtle reassurance from the kid at the end - you know, a simple hug of the leg and a "Love you mom" - as a parent, that would have heightened the emotion at the end for me - because at the moment the ending is more about the relief that she fixed that problem, rather than a final show of "yes, I am a damn good mom" - does that make sense?

Anyway - just my opinion, which could be a load of nonsense

Best of luck with it

Matt


Logged
Private Message Reply: 1 - 2
Marcela
Posted: March 24th, 2019, 4:14pm Report to Moderator
Been around a while


Location
Nottingham, UK
Posts
137
Posts Per Day
0.09
LOL, this script is hilarious. You nicely painted the struggles of a single mum. The actual act of the mum eating the worms is a bit too cruel, what about if she just somehow accidentally releases/loses the worms?
The whole script is very well written. Keep up good work,
Marcela


Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 2 - 2
 Pages: 1
Recommend Print

Locked Board Board Index    Short Drama Scripts  [ previous | next ] Switch to:
Was Portal Recent Posts Home Help Calendar Search Register Login

Forum Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post polls
You may not post attachments
HTML is on
Blah Code is on
Smilies are on


Powered by E-Blah Platinum 9.71B © 2001-2006