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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Comedy Scripts  ›  Stacey Moderators: bert
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  Author    Stacey  (currently 187 views)
Don
Posted: May 9th, 2019, 5:29pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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Stacey by Steve Hanisch - Comedy - When an awkward young man recruits his lesbian best friend for help in his pursuit of the older woman of his dreams...when he finds out he wants differently after all. 94 pages  - pdf format

contests: Selection of the 17th Beverly Hills Film Festival; Finalist 2017 Screenplay Festival; Finalist in the 9th Houston Comedy Film Festival

For production consideration - No comments required


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MGayles
Posted: May 9th, 2019, 11:52pm Report to Moderator
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On the first page, I think you want to do an insert a shot of the TV instead of int. tv ... unless were inside of the tv.
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MGayles
Posted: May 10th, 2019, 12:18am Report to Moderator
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a lot of confusing writing.

missing voice over tags or the protagonist was talking to himself?

wrong slug lines. Some int. that should be ext.

During the big scene with all the women talking you forgot to tell us who these women are. Who is Becky? Is she young, old, hot, ugly? Oh and Stacey is there ... you might want to mention that, seeing as how she is the titular character.

This is all the first 15 pages tho. Haven't read the rest but I have a feeling where it's going. The Graduate *cough*
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Matthew Taylor
Posted: May 10th, 2019, 4:40am Report to Moderator
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Hi MGayles

Please note this line in the opening post "For production consideration - No comments required"

If I was you I would focus your energy on the writers who are actually looking for help


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Marcela
Posted: May 18th, 2019, 5:51pm Report to Moderator
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Ups, I almost missed the line about 'production consideration only'. It's very easy to overlook it!


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