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The Spelling Bee by Chris Hicks - Short, Comedy - A regional spelling bee final takes an unexpected turn when the judge becomes infatuated with the mother of one of the contestants. 9 pages - pdf format
I don't know if you are around here much... I still don't know peoples names
Anyway, I read this - I read it in one go without taking a note which means the writing was good, nothing tripped me up, nothing jumped out at me and made me make a note. There was a word missing and a ? in an odd pace... but I had to be super picky to find anything.
The story - I thoroughly enjoyed it, a really fun read - The judge was hilariously inappropriate, it wasn't laugh out loud funny, but it was smile-inducing.
I can't be helpful I'm afraid, I have no advice to offer - The only thing that crossed my mind was breaking up a couple of the judge's monologues with slight actions, or audience reactions.
Read your short. While it's deffinitely funny I had trouble buying into the whole thing. I mean the crazy behavior, I think you should build up to it to make it believable. I know some things are bound to be unbelievable and some writers pound it home and make the unbelievable sound right. But like I said not in this case. Maybe it's because the Judge started his thing a bit too abruptly. And he was nice and polite, then all of the sudden just upon throwing a glance at the lady... Maybe she has to do something, too. She's silent all the way.
So, it's beginning basically. I think fixing it would take care of the whole thing. Also, the ending - I didn't ge the last line. And I know I didn't miss anything. It's just unclear I think. And it kind of lacks punch. So, the beginning and the ending. Other than that I was waiting to see what happens and enjoying the funny lines. Some of it was actually hillarious.
Re: the last line, it's a callback to one of the spelling words (Gelid, adjective, the definition is icy, extreme cold). He's calling her frigid because she won't engage in his choke sex fantasies.
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The Spelling Bee
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