Welcome, Guest. It is July 3rd, 2025, 1:33am Please login or register.
The primary purpose of the SimplyScripts Discussion Board is the discussion of unproduced screenplays. If you are a producer or director lookng for your next project, the works here are available for option, purchase or production only if you receive permission from the author.
NOTE: these screenplays are NOT in the public domain and MAY NOT be used or reproduced for any purpose (including eductional purposes) without the expressedwrittenpermission of the author.
The Dawn of Arnie by Jason K. Allen - Short, Rom Com - An awkward, lonely neat freak decides to loosen up, get out of the house and go on a few dates. Unfortunately, he has no luck with the ladies -- that is, until he meets the Queen of the Untamed Forest. 17 pages - pdf format
So finally Arnie met Sandy and they lived happily ever after. Lol. Cool script. Funny.
Here are the few things I've observed.
ARNOLD (V.O.) Oh, no... I’m out of deodorant!
I would get rid of this first line. It's not needed. Just show Arnold picking up the deodorant can and it's empty. He makes a face and throws it in the dustbin.
ARNOLD Wild man!
"Wild man! Mandy's gonna love it." This will give readers a better clue that Arnold and Mandy have met before.
Pg. 2 His smile dissipates when notices she’s holding a bucket in one hand and bloody machete in the other. Blood is smeared on her hands, a few feathers are stuck to her.
You can play with this situation by not showing feathers.
Brandi was an interesting character. I wish you would have given her more space than Mandy.
I laughed my head off at that monkey dialogue.
Somehow Arnold was continuously reminding me of Rick Moranis.