During the Rain by Aleksandar Lahtov - Short, Drama - Two cousins after a long time meet each other to discuss about their common past related with their two families. When the compromise is not possible, the force is the only mean to achieve the desired goal. 13 pages - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

Aleksandar, I recommend you have your script translated into English by somebody who knows the language well. There are too many problems with it right now for most English readers to persist with this.

Also, you ought to spend some time becoming better familiar with U.S. screenplay format convention.

For instance:

Quoted Text EXT- HOUSE ON THE CITY SUBURBAN-NOON-DAY

I assume this ought to be:

Quoted Text EXT. SUBURBAN HOUSE - NOON

Any other details required should be included within the action line that follows.

Your dialogue is not natural, much of it on-the-nose and expositional.


Give this script a clean up and then resubmit it. I'd like to take another look after you've given it a few more passes and a polish.