Leaving by Steven J. Fauquier - Drama - After selling their home, a family embarks on a unusual excursion in their car while leaving behind a startling discovery for the people that bought the house. - html, format

SPOILER SPACE

It was an interesting story and well written.  My big problem with it is the family's motivation for killing themselves.  The kids' health problems aren't fatal (atleast the way you describe them).  They're easily treatable and the two could be leading normal healthy lives.

You may want to extend their conversation in a car a little more once it's learned that they're going to kill themselves.  Maybe Samantha is changing her mind.  IMHO, that's where the story begins and you ended it there.


Phil

I agree with what dogglebe posted

It is very well written but you gave no reason for why the family killed themselves.  If you had to describe that the health problems were fatal then it might have made more sense. Also, no one except the mother seems upset that they are all about to die.  This makes me think that maybe the kids didn't know they were going to die.  I mean the girl told her friend that she would call her when they got their new phone number.

"Leaving" was a haunting tale of a family's intriguing and gripping journey to the otherside, which had me at the edge of my seat. Fauquier had the reader asking so many questions keeping the reader interested in whats goingto happen to each cahrater in the story. I really enjoyed reading this script and  I can't wait til something new from him comes out.