Crimson Kiss by Adam Johnson - Drama, Vampire, Film-Noir - A 1940's Private Eye is hired to investigate a murder. But as David gets closer and closer to the truth he learns the killer holds a shocking secret - one which even he wasn't prepared to face. - htm, format

Hey, look, a new script! Its been a while, I hope you enjoy something a little different.

Okay, this definately belongs in horror.

An interesting mix between Sam Spade and vampires; the atmosphere in film noir works well with the Gothic vampire mood, and in that sense the film succeeds well.  I only have a few criticisms:

1)  The Sam Spade influence is a bit too obvious.  Page 24:

Quoted Text   DAVID            I believed your two hundred dollars.

WIth the exception that "The Maltese Falcoln" is "I believed your money." that's a direct quote.  If that was an intentional reference/homage, okay.  But otherwise, it reduces the film's appearance of originality.

2)  David constantly calling Eve "Angel" gets annoying after a while, as do the rest of his nicknames for women.

3)  Changing Frank's exact "powers" was in order to make the ways to repel him less cliche, I'm guessing (sort of what Van Helsing does).  However, by the end I still haven't quite figured out what Frank is.

4)  I have trouble understanding Frank and Marion's motivations and deeds before the film, although that's pretty standard for this kind of movie.  Nonetheless, perhaps a better explanation could be provided.

5)  I didn't like the ending, which seemed to have made both David's motivations and the last twenty minutes of the movie a bit foggy.  I'm talking abouth the twist here, not the final shot - which I liked, even though I don't understand it at all.


Aside from plot-holes or assumed plot-holes (plot-elements that were simply not properly explained) this is a 4/5 movie.  As it is, though, I'd give it 3.5/5.  I look forward to reading the next draft if it comes, and I'd definately see this if it were ever made.

The new draft is halfway done, and there are ALOT of changes.

My motivation has sort of staled however, which is why I posted this here, in the hopes of finding something to spark me again.

Alright guys. I just uploaded the new draft. It hasnt uploaded yet, but check the same link in a few days if you want.

PS It's 150 pgs long! So you can guess how many changes ive made.

Check back tonight. I know youre all THRILLED!


...please read.....

UP!!!!

Can we plase move this to Horror, mods. Its dead in the water here.

If you want some reviews, head to the 'review exchange' board and put in a request. You'll probably find a few takers.