Mutation Encounter, The by George Willson - Short - A stranger helps a mother rescue her child from a mob of Mutations. - pdf, format

Hi George,

I didn’t know what to think of this. At first, I kind of had the impression that David was perhaps a time traveler who went to the late eighteen hundreds for reasons having to do with Dracula.

As it progressed, I became fairly certain that David and the un-introduced Voivode were vampires due to his knowledge and unexplained super strength. Of course, later I had a more definitive answer.

At the end, I knew one of the directions it was going but wasn’t sure of the final destination. I could just be missing the point.

It’s very well written. Description is great with the sole possible exception of the mutations themselves. I wasn’t sure exactly what they looked like. Dialogue seemed very consistent with the period. Nothing stood out to me as something that wouldn’t have been said at the time. That’s usually one of the first things I notice about period pieces; people saying things that obviously would not have been said in the era. But you did a good job as far as that.

Another dialogue credit for you is the economy of your usage. You do a good job here of effectively crafting exchanges with a minimum of dialogue. That’s another difficult thing that you do well.

You’re really good at leading the reader on a journey. I’m just not sure where you lead me to.

Overall, though, this was obviously a portion of what seemed to be a significantly larger whole. Without knowing more of the back story, it was difficult for me to appreciate it.

I enjoyed your writing talent as I read but the story kind of left me wondering what you were trying to say.

Thanks for reading, Breanne. I was very interested to know how someone who had read nothing of this saga would react to this short.The only two people to have read it to date, had further knowledge of the bigger picture, and of course, it meant something different to them.

I was trying to craft something that could be appreciated without a full knowledge of the backstory in order to show a piece of my magnum opus, The Fempiror Chronicles. However, this was also supposed to function as an independant story, so the point of the story may be something for me to look into.

Really, it's Bert's fault. He said show off the Mutations, so I showed them off. It would figure that I would forget to describe them.

Thanks again for reading.

Quoted from George Willson Really, it's Bert's fault. He said show off the Mutations, so I showed them off. It would figure that I would forget to describe them.

Haha!  You knucklehead!

That didn't even occur to me either when I looked at this, so don't feel too bad.

Fempiror is really unique stuff, Brea, and the quality is remarkably consistent.  It's a shame that it gets so overlooked, actually.  George's voluminous output is a double-edged sword, I guess -- he can really crank it out -- but so fast that it is hard for the casual reader to keep up with him.

George,

I enjoyed this and I think it's a great advert for your Fempiror series but, yeah, we need a description of the mutations.

Other than that, it was a great 'encounter', if not a fully developed story in its own right. While it works without the context of a backstory, it didn't feel like the whole story.
As Bert says, your Fempiror stories are unique and well thought out. The only problem is that it's impossible to keep up! I read the first one and it took me a while. When I look at what's left to read it's just daunting.

Hi George!
My poor comments is very simple: I confirm what Breane, Bert and DS said. For me what did write about the Mutations is quit enough ..."They turn to David's light and HISS, ANIMALISTICALLY,, their LONG CANINES glistering in David

I'm sorry! Back and cont.

...glistering in David's limited light."

These descriptions for me are enough! I saw how the Mutations are with them!

The scenes description when the Mutations chase David, Nadezhda and the little Sandu, seem to me like Indiana Jones' or Johnny Weissmuller Jungle Jim movies. Your writing has the spirit of the great adventure pieces like Carrol Young’s.

PS Your chronicles could be fitted in a comic magazine.

Thanks to DS and Helio for the reads and comments.

I think my hangup on describing the Mutations rests in that they look like regular humans as much as David himself does. I highlighted the only visible difference in their apparent physiology, and the rest just comes out through action.

Perhaps, since they are referred to as "Mutations," it would have been beneficial to point out that until they act, they look what would be considered to be "normal."

One thing to keep in mind as you stare at the daunting amount of material, just as you might do when looking at Lord of the Rings or Star Wars or even a season of your favorite TV show on DVD, is that there is no need to read everything in one shot. Each title is meant to be a story by itself as well as part of a larger volume of work.

And Helio, you're probably right about the comic book idea.

And finally, there is a second short called A Tepish is Born in the same universe of work. While this short fits into the movie section of the series, the other short fits into the TV series part.