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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board  /  Action/Adventure Scripts  /  Max Payne
Posted by: Don, March 20th, 2006, 8:01pm
Max Payne by Graham Paschall (AmericanSyCo) - Action - Based on the popular video-game of the same name, "Max Payne" is the story of a man pushed to his absolute limit.  When his family is killed, our title character goes through a transformation from an honest detective to a fallen cop that does not let anyone get in his way.  This is my first action script that does not feature elements of comedy, so any feedback would be greatly appreciated.  Also, to fans of the game, there have been slight changes made to the story just to keep things fresh and interesting.  It should also be noted that my script takes elements from both "Max Payne" video-games.  71 pages - html, format 8)
Posted by: AmericanSyCo (Guest), March 20th, 2006, 11:19pm; Reply: 1
I should note that this was actually written as my final film project at school, to be filmed in three years or so.  Of course, ambition got the best of me, and now it is a 49 page big budget action piece, and this is only the first draft... I'm still adding to it!  So, this means two things: A.) by the time I am completely done with all the drafts, this one will probably be closer to a full length script and B.) there will be a seperate, shorter version at some point in the 30-40 page realm.  Well, that's the whole story, and I hope any readers out there enjoy the script and I look forward to feedback.

Cheers.

-Graham P.
Posted by: ALIEN MAN, April 22nd, 2006, 3:05pm; Reply: 2
I enjoyed it alot, but  it could've been longer.

With my expericening in writing I learned not to do

[b][/b]INT. RAGNA BAR - NIGHT - CLUB
We cut back to Mona sax

"I learned by not doing the "We cut to" line. But if it helps you then keep doing it, you're script is still fantastic.


Are you in college or something, because filming this in three years or so, with all those big locactions. Or you can be in film school. Just wondering
Posted by: AmericanSyCo (Guest), April 24th, 2006, 6:08pm; Reply: 3
Hey, thanks for reading, and I am glad you enjoyed it.  Right now, I am essentially re-writing two versions of the same story at the same time.  This is almost like a prototype script.  I am currently writing a shorter, more filmable script as well as a feature-length.  I did this after being advised first by my production instructor that it needed to be shorter and then by my sreenwriting professor that it needed to be longer.  As it stands right now, I enjoy the feature length version more as it has much deeper character development being added.  Meanwhile, the shorter version, while not completely lacking development, has most of it cut away so as to move along to the action pieces.  However, I have no doubt it will be very fun (and probably a bit difficult) to film in the coming years.  But, stay tuned, as when I finish the feature length script, I will be posting it here.
Posted by: ALIEN MAN, May 11th, 2006, 2:36pm; Reply: 4
I would love to read the longer version of the script.
Posted by: dogglebe (Guest), May 11th, 2006, 8:13pm; Reply: 5
Hate to burst your bubble, but Max Payne is already being produced.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0467197/


Phil
Posted by: AmericanSyCo (Guest), May 12th, 2006, 2:25am; Reply: 6
No, I knew that.  This short was more for me to just film something that I really enjoy.
Posted by: ALIEN MAN, May 15th, 2006, 11:09pm; Reply: 7
A real max payne movie?

:X :X :X :X
Posted by: dogglebe (Guest), May 16th, 2006, 7:48am; Reply: 8
Yep.  It's announced for next year.  I have no other information on it.


Phil
Posted by: ALIEN MAN, May 16th, 2006, 8:50am; Reply: 9
They should stop with these games into movies ideas. It's a waste.
Posted by: dogglebe (Guest), May 16th, 2006, 8:55am; Reply: 10
It depends on the game, really.  I thought Silent Hill, Resident Evil and Super Mario Brothers were good.  All the other ones stunk because they were primarily shoot 'em up games which translated into shoot 'em movies.

Max Payne (the game) has a nice story behind it.  The film noir aspect worked well.  Assuming they don't make this into a shoot 'em up movie, it should be good.


Phil
Posted by: ALIEN MAN, May 16th, 2006, 9:07am; Reply: 11
You do have a point. Silent Hill and Resident evil was good. I thought Mario Brothers stunk badly.

Max Payne (Videogame) has a good plot. (Sort of like the punisher) But hollywood would make it into a shoot em up movie.
Posted by: The Roscoe, May 16th, 2006, 9:11am; Reply: 12
I loved the game Max Payne, and I think you made me like the story much better. I'm not quite sure if you added some things, but even if you did this is an amazing script.

The only thing really wrong with it is a few grammar issues, but other than that everything is crisp.

Story, dialogue, and descriptions were totally at least a B grade in my book.

-The Roscoe
Posted by: dogglebe (Guest), May 16th, 2006, 9:12am; Reply: 13
Super Mario Brothers was a kids' movie.  While I am only a kid at heart, I enjoyed it a great deal.

Hopefully, Hollywood is learning that a plot is needed in video game movies.

I'm still waiting for a movie based on the game Qix.


Phil
Posted by: ALIEN MAN, May 16th, 2006, 9:14am; Reply: 14
I've never heard of that game before but by the title it seems like a fantasty game. Am Im I right?
Posted by: dogglebe (Guest), May 16th, 2006, 9:27am; Reply: 15
Posted by: ALIEN MAN, May 16th, 2006, 12:09pm; Reply: 16
I read it, It seems ok. The down thing is that you have to detach from an edge and styx within the rectangle.

It seems pretty hard but the game overal seems good.
Posted by: AmericanSyCo (Guest), June 1st, 2006, 9:23pm; Reply: 17
I just submitted the full-length, much better version of the script.  It includes a few more action pieces as well as much more character development.  The ending has also been updated and is no longer nearly as gimmicky.  Look for it in the future!

Cheers.
Posted by: AmericanSyCo (Guest), June 6th, 2006, 12:07pm; Reply: 18
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