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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board  /  Contests - Screenwriting and Filmmaking  /  Short film
Posted by: FebG, July 25th, 2010, 3:14am
Thanks for all the submissions but I'm considering something I may go with at the moment.
Posted by: mcornetto (Guest), July 25th, 2010, 7:47am; Reply: 1
There was one short I read that took place sort of in a hospital.  Something about vampires and a blood bank maybe.  Trying to think of the name.  Someone else might know it...

EDIT: Found some (Can't guarantee they happen completely in a hospital though)

Short:
http://www.simplyscripts.net/cgi-bin/Blah/Blah.pl?b-short/m-1225928338/
http://www.simplyscripts.net/cgi-bin/Blah/Blah.pl?m-1260508967/
http://www.simplyscripts.net/cgi-bin/Blah/Blah.pl?b-OWC0809/m-1251597638/s-0/

Long:
http://www.simplyscripts.net/cgi-bin/Blah/Blah.pl?m-1250720040/
http://www.simplyscripts.net/cgi-bin/Blah/Blah.pl?m-1262468995/
Posted by: Angry Bear, July 25th, 2010, 7:50am; Reply: 2
Hi,

I have one that might work. It's a drama. Hope it's not too depressing. The ages could be modified to fit your needs.

http://www.simplyscripts.net/cgi-bin/Blah/Blah.pl?m-1216135478/
Posted by: JonnyBoy, July 25th, 2010, 8:05am; Reply: 3

Quoted from mcornetto
There was one short I read that took place sort of in a hospital.  Something about vampires and a blood bank maybe.  Trying to think of the name.  Someone else might know it...


I think you're thinking of Anthony's 'Give Blood'.

http://www.simplyscripts.net/cgi-bin/Blah/Blah.pl?b-short/m-1272684076/s-0/
Posted by: FebG, July 25th, 2010, 8:15am; Reply: 4
Cheers mcornetto - let me know if you remember it, though I'm not a big fan of horror, unless it's psychological, I'll give it a look.

Me - that's a really good script. Very touching and a painful reality. It is a great character piece for actors, who I think would relish those roles. I don't mind depressing but do tend to go for life affirming stories with a message or lesson on life. Also the actor I have been communicating with is too young to play the part of the husband. Thanks for the link, but not this time.
Posted by: ajr, July 25th, 2010, 9:02am; Reply: 5
Thanks for remembering JonnyBoy - yes, mine was about the blood bank, though it took place in a gymnasium and not a hospital ward.

The ward location would be perfect though because the gurneys, etc. would already be set up. I could possibly re-write the location - or maybe the look of the ward could be changed a bit.

FebG, Jonny was nice enough to put the link in his post above - thanks again all,

Anthony
Posted by: FebG, July 25th, 2010, 9:42am; Reply: 6
Hi Anthony

His post wasn't up as I was typing my message. I've had a read of your script and it's not my thing sorry. Fantasy/horror is rarely my thing.
Posted by: ajr, July 25th, 2010, 9:46am; Reply: 7
Thanks for looking Febg, and I figured as much from your descriptions.

The irony is that I never write in that genre and it was an experiment for me to stretch myself.

Anthony
Posted by: sniper, July 25th, 2010, 9:48am; Reply: 8

Quoted from FebG
I'm not a big fan of horror


Quoted from FebG
Fantasy/horror is rarely my thing

It's probably gonna be easier if you just state what you thing is.

Posted by: ajr, July 25th, 2010, 9:52am; Reply: 9
Rob,

To be fair, we do know a bit about what FebG wants - life affirming, set in a hospital, 6 pages, any genre.

Trouble is that most of the material here is on the darker side, and I've been wracking by brain trying to think of something I've read here that would fit.

Cindy L. Keller wrote a fantastic piece set in a psych ward, but the protag was a young female, and it was written for "The Dark" OWC - which of course wouldn't fit.
Posted by: sniper, July 25th, 2010, 9:52am; Reply: 10
Apparently not all genres.
Posted by: Angry Bear, July 25th, 2010, 9:53am; Reply: 11
I think Stephen Brown wrote a good 5 pager in a hospital, but I can't remember the title write now. Anyone?

You could also tell us what you'd like to shoot. There are quite a few people here that could whip something up in a hurry.

Btw, I still think that mine could be modified. Instead of old people and alzheimers it could be younger people where let's say the woman suffered a br.ain injury after an accident...
Posted by: jwent6688, July 25th, 2010, 9:53am; Reply: 12
FebG...

I don't think I've read a script on here that will fill your requirements. Mind you, I've not read most of them.

If you put out an idea, you'd be surprised how many writers here may be able to turn out a decent 5 or 6 page script for you in a day or two. We have contests like that all the time. Especially in the hopes for it to be produced.

You don't like horror/fantasy. Give us an idea. I myself would try to write one. Comedy? Drama? Any idea for story?

James
Posted by: ajr, July 25th, 2010, 9:54am; Reply: 13

Quoted from sniper
Apparently not all genres.


Good point.

Posted by: Angry Bear, July 25th, 2010, 9:56am; Reply: 14
A 12 hour challenge??  ;D
Posted by: JonnyBoy, July 25th, 2010, 10:02am; Reply: 15
YES! Do it. You give us clear guidelines - ages of the characters, length, settings, nature of the content - and I guarentee you'll have maybe nearly a dozen new, tailor-made scripts for you by the end of the day.

If you don't like them, you can find something else. But maybe there'll be a gem.
Posted by: ajr, July 25th, 2010, 10:10am; Reply: 16
That's what I was thinking - a guerilla OWC.
Posted by: FebG, July 25th, 2010, 10:24am; Reply: 17
Drama, comedy, suspense, thriller, mockumentary, mystery...

Romance as long as it's very original not run of the mill (eg Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, The Secretary, Tie Me Up! Tie Me Down!).

Westerns, war, action and adventure, animation, but I doubt they'll work in the setting we have.

Horror and sci-fi - not usually those I favour tend to be on the existential/psychological side.

This might help, some of favourite films: Dead Man's Shoes, Apocalypse Now, Lost Highway, Blue Velvet, The Godfather I + II, Memento, City of God, Usual Suspects, Kes, Land and Freedom, Red Road, Alien, The Thing, Company of Wolves, L'Appartement, Seven Samurai, The Entity, Goodfellas, The Departed, Amelie, A Very Long Engagement, L'Emploi du temps, Last Broadcast, The Motorcycle Diaries, Y tu mamá también, Fistful of Dollars, Serpico, Dog Day Afternoon, Taxi Driver, Cool Hand Luke, Solyaris, Downfall, Das Experiment, Das Boot, Salo, 1984, Spirited Away, Run Lola Run, A Scanner Darkly, Idioterne...
Posted by: FebG, July 25th, 2010, 10:25am; Reply: 18
Um ok...

I'm not usually the best coming up with ideas... though. I'll have a think...
Posted by: ajr, July 25th, 2010, 10:45am; Reply: 19
Since the funniest movie on that list is Goodfellas I think comedy is out...   ;D
Posted by: FebG, July 25th, 2010, 10:50am; Reply: 20
Haha - good spot, the dark mood pervades!

Nah, comedy works best for me on TV: Monty Python, Office, Peep Show, League of Gentlemen, Nighty Night, Jam, Day Today...
Posted by: FebG, July 25th, 2010, 10:58am; Reply: 21
If this helps...

OK, genre: drama, comedy, suspense, thriller, mystery would be best I think...

Characters: male, 50s (the protagonist),
A Female nurse (antagonist - in some form, whether intentionally, malevolently, etc) can be any age, might work best with a character of a similar age?  Minor characters - nurses in their 20s.

Plot: Beyond the cliche that he has a conflict, an obstacle to overcome and a resolution that's not too twee I can't really think of much. It can be kooky...

Locations: Mainly in the ward, external grounds, corridors, a rest room for eating.

Props: various medical paraphenalia - a wheelchar, stethescope, beds, cabinet, bedside table.

Costumes: nurses uniforms, 1 patient gown, pyjamas, the actor knows he has to wear suit.

Anything else I must be able to purchase from a normal high street shop as it's too late to custom order props.  

Something simple, yet touching is what usually grabs me, you can go dark, depressing and grotesque as long as there's an inclination of hope.
Posted by: ajr, July 25th, 2010, 12:16pm; Reply: 22
I think I have something for you - I'm halfway through it.

Genre is definitely drama, a bit eerie, definitely sad, but with the requisite glimmer of hope at the end.
Posted by: Angry Bear, July 25th, 2010, 1:18pm; Reply: 23
Are you up for a review trade Anthony?  :)

Mine is a bit darker than yours and not much glimmer of hope, but still works...I think.
Posted by: ajr, July 25th, 2010, 1:26pm; Reply: 24
Hey, I don't speedwrite!

;D

Still working on it. I was thinking of sending it directly to FEbG but I would consider some peer review.
Posted by: Angry Bear, July 25th, 2010, 1:29pm; Reply: 25
It's always good to have someone read first in case something doesn't work. :)
Posted by: Angry Bear, July 25th, 2010, 3:07pm; Reply: 26
I decided to take a break from the 7wc today so I wrote a 5 pager for this. Not sure it's any good though.

Title: Seriously Wounded

Logline:...don't really have one and I suck at those, but maybe something like "A man on his way to surgery after having been shot in the head and leg, freaks out when he finds out who shot him."  Hmmm, I don't know...

Is anyone but Anthony and I writing anything?
Posted by: jwent6688, July 25th, 2010, 3:15pm; Reply: 27
I wanted to. It just sounds funny to me that this guy is ready to shoot in a couple of days, yet no script.  Why in a hospital? What was his other script that fell through about?

We could make it original. Pia, if you wrote something, it was worth the time. I'd like to read it. This guy seems a little unorganized to me.

James
Posted by: Angry Bear, July 25th, 2010, 3:42pm; Reply: 28

Quoted from jwent6688

We could make it original. Pia, if you wrote something, it was worth the time. I'd like to read it.

I'd love for you to read it! Thank you!

Where do you want me to send it?

And btw, I love writing shorts so even if he's not interested, I had a fun 3 hours doing what I love and I have another short to bother Don with!  :)
Posted by: ajr, July 25th, 2010, 3:56pm; Reply: 29
Mine is titled "The Screams" (I hate the title, btw).

LOGLINE: A tortured physician receives a last chance at redemption.

Cryptic I know, but at least it doesn't suck as bad as my other loglines...
Posted by: ajr, July 25th, 2010, 5:12pm; Reply: 30
Okay, mine is done. I put it up on Circalit only because it's faster for me to do so. I'm submitting to Don now.
Posted by: Angry Bear, July 25th, 2010, 5:26pm; Reply: 31
I haven't heard back from James yet, but if anyone else feels like reading something, please let me know.  :)
Posted by: mcornetto (Guest), July 25th, 2010, 6:02pm; Reply: 32
Good work you two.  Doing something impromptu like this is showing true screenwriter spirit.  
Posted by: Breanne Mattson, July 25th, 2010, 8:48pm; Reply: 33

Quoted from Angry Bear
I haven't heard back from James yet, but if anyone else feels like reading something, please let me know.  :)


You can shoot it to me. I spent all day outside and I’m cooling off.


Breanne
Posted by: electricsatori, July 25th, 2010, 9:28pm; Reply: 34

Quoted from Angry Bear


Is anyone but Anthony and I writing anything?


I am too. Getting ready to start. I'll end up sending it to him tonight or this A.M. sometime.

-Daniel

Posted by: screenrider (Guest), July 26th, 2010, 7:35am; Reply: 35

Quoted from jwent6688
I wanted to. It just sounds funny to me that this guy is ready to shoot in a couple of days, yet no script.  Why in a hospital? What was his other script that fell through about?

We could make it original. Pia, if you wrote something, it was worth the time. I'd like to read it. This guy seems a little unorganized to me.


James,

I've understand that you're brash and always say exactly what's on your mind.  But if you read Mr. Kelly's original post then you'll realize all your above questions have been answered.  To make a statement that the guy seems a little unorganized is blatantly disrespectful and pretty much slamming his credibility.   Unexpected occurrences can happen when making a film.   Deals can fall through at the last minute.  That's show business.  

Mr. Kelly has an experienced Brtish actor to play a part, and was gracious enough to come here looking for a script to produce and we should be thankful for that and not questioning his integrity.   I'll be surpised if he even comes back to this site.  I'm even more surprised that the Mods didn't delete your inconsiderate remark, and no one else even gave it a second thought to bring this to your attention.   Future reference, this is a good way to drive off a Producer.

Posted by: FebG, July 26th, 2010, 9:13am; Reply: 36
Cheers screenrider. You've pretty much summed up how things can go wrong in this business.

I've been very impressed with what I've seen on this site and the efforts of the writers, especially those able to produce things in such a quick period of time.

I've got something I may go with so will close this call.

Cheers!
Posted by: screenrider (Guest), July 26th, 2010, 9:38am; Reply: 37

Quoted from FebG
Cheers screenrider. You've pretty much summed up how things can go wrong in this business.

I've been very impressed with what I've seen on this site and the efforts of the writers, especially those able to produce things in such a quick period of time.

I've got something I may go with so will close this call.

Cheers!


Thanks for the opportunity, FebG.   Be sure to let us know when and where we can see the film, or if you ever post it online.   I'd like to see the finished product.

Posted by: Angry Bear, July 26th, 2010, 9:41am; Reply: 38
I'm glad you found a script. I would have liked to at least shown you the one I wrote yesterday.  Three people have read it and everyone thought it was good...

If you change your mind, just let me know. I have sent it in to Don, but don't know when it will be posted.
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