Be it known, that on this Tuesday, the 14th day of July of 2009, I have deemed it to be the opening day of

The Mike Shelton Fan Club

If you would like to post some of his zingers here, go ahead and let us begin to worship this funny guy.

You've just brought a light to my day again, Michael. Funny guy! Completely Bizarre Bazaar  

From: The Officially Whacked Homosexuality Thread Gone Mad

Quoted from JamminGirl

be careful of making too many assumptions...

Quoted from Michael Shelton

Indeed.  You don't want to go off and label straight people with kids as gay.

Quoted from JamminGirl

Would a straight person with kids, who is very vocal in their pro-homosexuality stance, consider the label an insult?

Quoted from Michael Shelton

No, but they would view it as an incorrect assumption.



Sandra

Mike Shelton is a homosexual Mexican!


Phil

Was that a zinger? I guess I'm not up on the term...
Anyways, I don't know about others but I certainly enjoyed the sparring in that thread. Flexes the mental muscles...

Quoted from dogglebe Mike Shelton is a homosexual Mexican!

You're a bigot Phil!!

Quoted from dogglebe Mike Shelton is a homosexual Mexican!

He's a Mexican? Gross!

Quoted from Grandma Bear You're a bigot Phil!!

ONly when it comes to homosexual Mexicans.

Lesbian Mexicans are way cool!


Phil (people should read scripts and not post on non-script threads)

Quoted from dogglebe Mike Shelton is a homosexual Mexican! Phil

His first name is Mike. How disgusting!

Wait a minute...

Quoted from mcornetto His first name is Mike. How disgusting! Wait a minute...

Your name is Mike, too?  We know what that means....

You're both Mexicans!


Phil

I thought Cornetto's "m" stood for manlover...you're saying it doesn't?

Quoted from sniper I thought Cornetto's "m" stood for manlover...you're saying it doesn't?

It stands for Mucha Lucha





Phil

Quoted from sniper I thought Cornetto's "m" stood for manlover...you're saying it doesn't?

I've only ever felt that way about you Snipey.

Quoted from mcornetto His first name is Mike. How disgusting! Wait a minute...

Wait, is this about me?  I thought it was a fan club for the white, christian rapper.

Best part of this thread has to be Phil labeling lesbians and homosexuals as two separate groups.

Quoted from dogglebe Your name is Mike, too?  We know what that means.... You're both Mexicans! Phil

OK, now we know that not only Michael can pull off the zingers.

INT. ALCOVE

As we enter the alcove, we approach Tanis, her back turned. She laughs hysterically, until finally, she turns. Notices us and winks.

Tanis
You be wonderin' what's so funny?

A strange mechanical sound whirs and dings behind her.

AT THE DISPLAY CASE

Tiny things, whirring and buzzing away. Like little robotic bug dolls- whirligigs.

Tanis
Now don't get too close. They's be pretty to watch, but holdin' them. You never know.
They be what you call a zinger, comes at ya quick and funny like, until one day...

Tanis' face turns around suddenly, whirling about as a dancer, her dress spiraling outwards, along with her hysterical laughter.

FROM ABOVE TANIS'

Her dress, fans outwards and we descend down into the whirl and the blur that it becomes:

FADE IN:

On a gyroscope.

Uhkay, just exploring the nature of zingers I guess.  

Who was it that said: Everything is screenwriting.

Sandra

Quoted from Shelton Wait, is this about me?  I thought it was a fan club for the white, christian rapper. Best part of this thread has to be Phil labeling lesbians and homosexuals as two separate groups.

ZINGER!!!!  

Quoted from Shelton Best part of this thread has to be Phil labeling lesbians and homosexuals as two separate groups.

Actually, the best part was that no one questioned the Mexican reference.

Some gay men and lesbians do not like being put in the same group, FWIW.


Phil

Quoted from dogglebe Actually, the best part was that no one questioned the Mexican reference. Some gay men and lesbians do not like being put in the same group, FWIW. Phil

Because one is hot and the other is gross?

I'm Mexican and I like Lucha Libre. Now, I feel insulted. I shall vent my anger out by making a thread titled "Mexicans" on the General Chat section of the site.

Your days of bigotry are at an end, Phil.

--Julio

If this goes on much longer, I’ve got a rotten feeling that Phil will be inspired to pen,
“Not Even Death...Of a Mexican Homosexual…Named Miguel”

Quoted from ReaperCreeper I shall vent my anger out by making a thread titled "Mexicans" on the General Chat section of the site.

And everyone will discuss whether they prefer a juicy taco or a beefy burrito. Some people might even enjoy both.  Though, of course, some will say if it ain't dog then it isn't the real thing.    

Quoted from Abe from LA If this goes on much longer, I’ve got a rotten feeling that Phil will be inspired to pen, “Not Even Death...Of a Mexican Homosexual…Named Miguel”

This thread has gotten weird at an unusually fast pace....


Phil

Quoted from mcornetto And everyone will discuss whether they prefer a juicy taco or a beefy burrito. Some people might even enjoy both.  Though, of course, some will say if it ain't dog then it isn't the real thing.

I love juicy tacos!  I don't mind people who like beefy burrito's, i just hate the way they have to flaunt it in my face.  

Quoted from Abe from LA If this goes on much longer, I’ve got a rotten feeling that Phil will be inspired to pen, “Not Even Death...Of a Mexican Homosexual…Named Miguel”

And I shall expect a 28 point font plug in his signature a day and a half later.

Tacos and burritos for everybody!

This thread has gotten strange. Phil will be probably write a "Mexican Homosexual" script too.

Btw, how'd this thread get from the topic of Mike to Tacos?

Quoted from Aaron This thread has gotten strange. Phil will be probably write a "Mexican Homosexual" script too. Btw, how'd this thread get from the topic of Mike to Tacos?

I think by the use of the same method I use in my writing. The method is: There is no method.   That would explain some things, maybe, I guess. Actually, I'm positively certain that I'm completely unsure.

Anyways, back to the topic of the thread: Yeah, I actually think I like tacos with the hard shell over the soft shell. I like to make Spanish rice.

Sandra

Quoted Text I actually think I like tacos with the hard shell over the soft shell.

=0

Blasphemy! Soft tacos rule.

Burritos are overrated but still good.

When Phil writes his Mexican Homosexual script, his protagonist better prefer burritos over tacos, because no straight Mexican would stand a burrito over a taco.

Yeah, I just said something bigoted...with food as my weapon.




--Julio

Quoted from ReaperCreeper =0 Blasphemy! Soft tacos rule. Burritos are overrated but still good. --Julio

Ah no!!! Really? I thought Burritos were soft tacos. I'm really messed up, I'd better do some proper research if I ever plan on writing a script in the one location of Taco Time.

Don't anyone steal that idea!   Young Russian girl discovers her roots in the most unlikely of places. No. Old Ukrainian dude discovers a fresh cabbage roll wrapped in his Burrito, but the culprit has escaped. The only lead he has is inside the fortune cookie left on the windshield of his car.  

Sandra

These are real mexican tacos:


http://lifespotlight.com/images/2007/12/519531187_f4dbd0b030.jpg


As you can see, the tortilla is soft. You have to hold them by the tips. Hard shell tacos don't get as much attention there as here in the States. Actually, one of the few things I miss from Mexico (through my mother's recent marriage, I now reside in the U.S) are my tacos

American tacos taste good, but different.

A burrito is usually completely wrapped in its tortilla (on one or both sides depending on how it's served) and has different contents.

http://www.carlosandgabbysbrooklyn.com/images/chicken%20burrito.jpg

I have now given you the necessary information to complete your glorious work of art, Sandra.

--Julio

Quoted from ReaperCreeper This are real mexican tacos: http://lifespotlight.com/images/2007/12/519531187_f4dbd0b030.jpg As you can see, the tortilla is soft. You have to hold them by the tips. Hard shell tacos don't get as much attention there as here in the States. Actually, one of the few things I miss from Mexico (through my mother's recent marriage, I now reside in the U.S) are my tacos American tacos taste good, but different. A burrito is usually completely wrapped in its tortilla (on one or both sides depending on how it's served) and has different contents. http://www.carlosandgabbysbrooklyn.com/images/chicken%20burrito.jpg I have now given you the necessary information to complete your glorious work of art, Sandra. --Julio

But now I'm really hungry for a "real" taco.  

Sandra

Hey, tacos at my house!

(But I feel compelled to warn you, I live very near Mexico.)

James

Quoted from Sandra Elstree. Old Ukrainian dude discovers a fresh cabbage roll...

...shaped like the Virgin Mary.

Quoted from ReaperCreeper This are real mexican tacos: http://lifespotlight.com/images/2007/12/519531187_f4dbd0b030.jpg As you can see, the tortilla is soft. You have to hold them by the tips. --Julio

Gay.

Your face is gay...

Quoted from ReaperCreeper These are real mexican tacos: http://lifespotlight.com/images/2007/12/519531187_f4dbd0b030.jpg As you can see, the tortilla is soft. You have to hold them by the tips. Hard shell tacos don't get as much attention there as here in the States. Actually, one of the few things I miss from Mexico (through my mother's recent marriage, I now reside in the U.S) are my tacos American tacos taste good, but different.

Where are you living in the US that you can't get tacos like that?  I could spit and hit three places that serve them.

Quoted from sniper ...shaped like the Virgin Mary.

OK, I'm actually writing a scene for this.

And regarding the tacos, I am writing a short that will involve both tacos and the concept of gay. How crazy is that eh? Well, I won't be able to post it until after Don gets back, but it's in the works, as well as more reads that are in my files.

Wow. I still can't believe I'm writing about fortune cookies, cabbage rolls, the Virgin Mary and tacos!  

Sandra

Quoted from Sandra Elstree. OK, I'm actually writing a scene for this. And regarding the tacos, I am writing a short that will involve both tacos and the concept of gay. How crazy is that eh? Well, I won't be able to post it until after Don gets back, but it's in the works, as well as more reads that are in my files. Wow. I still can't believe I'm writing about fortune cookies, cabbage rolls, the Virgin Mary and tacos!   Sandra

Make them Poutine tacos and you've got a winner.

Quoted from ReaperCreeper Your face is gay...

My face is the Liberace of faces!

Quoted from seamus19382 My face is the Liberace of faces!

Oh, c'mon.  Everybody knows Liberace wasn't gay.  He was just really, really colorful and into gold and ivory.

Quoted from seamus19382 My face is the Liberace of faces!

The that's one weird face you got they, S.

Quoted from sniper The that's one weird face you got they, S.

So that's who lost out to Raquel Welch for Myra Breckenridge!

Quoted Text Where are you living in the US that you can't get tacos like that?  I could spit and hit three places that serve them.

I'm living in a town in Wisconsin right now. No Mexican-style tacos anywhere. It's all Brachs and burgers, which taste great anyway, but still.

--Julio

Quoted from Sandra Elstree. And regarding the tacos, I am writing a short that will involve both tacos and the concept of gay. How crazy is that eh?

I already wrote one that involves burritos and the concept of gay.

Quoted from mcornetto I already wrote one that involves burritos and the concept of gay.

See? Everything's been done. I'm still keen on my Zombie who only eats animal brains and falls in love with the high school girl. At least that's fresh.

Oh, and to stay on topic, Mike does have some awesome Twinkies...or was it Zingers?

Quoted from George Willson See? Everything's been done. I'm still keen on my Zombie who only eats animal brains and falls in love with the high school girl. At least that's fresh.

You don't get much fresher than brainy Zombies who have their way with high school girls.

Quoted from George Willson Oh, and to stay on topic, Mike does have some awesome Twinkies...or was it Zingers?

At least Mike knows that Zingers are to be shared freely and his Twinkies are for private parties.

Quoted from Shelton Make them Poutine tacos and you've got a winner.

Oh this must be done!   If you can create the mother of all heart stopping foods by combining gravy on top of cheese with deep fried potatoes, then why can't you create a Poutine taco, right?

OK, noting that down-- that and Twinkies.

Sandra

Quoted from sniper The that's one weird face you got they, S.

Good god!   My face is totally out of control!  

I'm sure that picture has to be illegal in some areas.